Welcome to the fabulous and sometimes insane life
of a working mother who is trying hard not to
let her whole existence be determined by her
cute little munchkins, yet continues to be drawn
in by the adorable and sometimes annoying tiny people!
Showing posts with label Ridiculous Randomness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ridiculous Randomness. Show all posts

Monday, April 1, 2013

The Adventure of a Lifetime....NOT


After an amazing Easter service with friends and family including the privilege of watching my oldest daughter get baptized, we head home for a delicious lunch and to finish packing for our trip to the beach. We were only getting a couple of days because I am having my wisdom teeth out on Wednesday (a completely different blog post, I am sure). So after pictures in the rain, a delicious meal, no egg hunt (due to the rain) and the loading of the cars with 3 adults, 5 kids, and 2 dogs, we were off to the beach and unknowingly The Adventure of a Lifetime....NOT! 
We begin our trip heading south into storms, but what did we care we were on the way to the beach. Even being at the beach in the rain is better than not being at the beach. I mean, everything is better at the beach....well almost everything. We hop on I-10 at Quincy Exit 174 and headed west. Before we got to the next exit at 166, we were in a traffic jam. Luckily it continued to move, be it at a snail's pace, and after about 6 miles and 30 minutes later we were out and moving. However, about 60 miles later we have to slam on brakes which causes all 3 kids and dog to be jolted awake after only falling asleep a few minutes before. At this point we are literally at a stand still. No one is moving. No one is going any where and no one is happy. Finally, we start to move a little. Alas, it is not because traffic is moving forward but because people are turning around to go back to the previous exit.


So we did the only thing we could do and turned around through the median too. Thankfully we had better luck than this guy. And thankfully we had GPS and 3 devices that had Google maps otherwise there would have been 3 adults, 5 kids, and two dogs stuck in what appeared to be Deliverance!
After a two and a half hour trip turned into a 4 hour trip and completely sane people turned into hysterically crying, screaming people (kids not adults) we arrive at the beach house. The beach house which was supposed to have been vacated by the winter tenant that morning. The beach house which was supposed to have been cleaned by said tenant. The beach house which as we walked in with our 3 adults, 5 kids, and two dogs we realized was completely trashed because the lady had not only stayed the winter but had apparently moved everything she owned into the house including a 42 inch flat screen, every item of clothing she owned, a safe, plants, trunks, and even her own shower curtain! Most of her stuff was still there and the house was completely disgusting. There were literal dirt piles in the floor and stains on the carpet. It was sooooooo gross!

We quickly exited the premises and shoved extremely confused children and dogs back into the car where they had been trapped for the last 4 hours. We decide to get something to eat and figure out what to do. Do we get a hotel? Do we bunk with family members (that we don't know in another house)? Do we go back and take the woman out so that she sleeps with the fishes....the dead ones? 
Alas, there is no luck there either. The first 3 places we go to are closed, the next has been apparently invaded by frat boys, the next was closed, and finally, finally we find an open restaurant, "Killas Pizza". (That is the name. I promise I couldn't even make that up). My husband deemed it appropriate since we were all close to killin' someone! We unload all 3 adults and 5 kids and head in. Killas Pizza, aka Johnny McTighe's Irish Pub, is apparently dedicated to all of the cops that had been killed by killas or something because there were frames all around the place of old cop uniforms...even one with what appeared a bikers pony tail attached to it. However strange the decor was the pizza was without a doubt a killa because it sure nuff killed my taste buds with deliciousness! 
So we suck it up and decided to call the Water Color Inn and fork out a ridiculous amount of money for one night for a place with which to rest the 3 adults, 5 kids, and 2 dogs. Of course we never would have done this if my sister had not discovered my mother's credit card in her wallet. (Side Note to Judy: Why does she have your credit card? I would like a credit card. What am I chopped liver?) Any who....even the realization of unlimited funds does not change our luck because it is apparently Spring Break '13 Baby and Easter and there are no vacancies any where!

We decided to suck it up and go head back to the scene of the crime via the house next door with the distant relatives that we don't know. Luckily, they are out to eat when we roll up in there with our 3 adults, 5 kids, and 2 dogs. However, the crazy tenant is not. My husband takes it like a man and goes over to see what is going on. She says that she doesn't know when she will have everything out or get it cleaned and could he please help her move her large flat screen t.v. and safe. Needless to say, he declined and just walked away shaking his head. 
By this time, we are all set to stay with the relatives that we don't know when reality hits and we realize that even if she is out tomorrow the house won't be clean and we will have to spend all day cleaning it with 5 kids and 2 dogs running around and crying because we are not down at the beach. So we make a very hard but very smart decision....we load up the 3 adults, 5 kids, and 2 dogs back in the cars and we head home with promises of fun tomorrow including bubbles, water, Fun Station Jr., movies and more. 
We arrive back at around 1, unloaded the 3 adults, 5 kids, and 2 dogs along with all the paraphernalia that comes with it, climbed in the bed and try to forget the last 12 hours. 

The Adventure of a Lifetime it was NOT! Smartest decision ever, it was! The next day it was cold and rainy at the beach but hot and sunny in our backyard, where we had so much fun!


Sunday, October 21, 2012

Take Control of Your Life

Last night I had the privilege of being able to speak to members of Off Broad Street Centre of the Dance Arts' members of the The F.I.R.M. dance company.

Why me? Well, because the motivational speaker canceled and Mrs. Dana was desperate. I jokingly told her, " I could do my 'Are you stupid class' where I talk about all of the stupid things teenagers do to mess up their lives." I was not serious at all. When I get frustrated with the stupid things kids do, I always say that I should teach a class about HOW stupid the stupid things teenagers do are!

Well, the joke was on me, because that was exactly what Mrs. D. wanted she wanted someone to talk to them about self-respect and always representing your family and the dance company to the best of your ability.

So I toned it down a little and called it "Take Control of Your Life". It focused on the 1st two Habits of Sean Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers:

1. Be Proactive- Be in control of yourself and your choices. You can not control what happens to       yourself but you can control how you react to it. It is the habit of choice.

2. Begin with the End in Mind- Think about how you want things to end up: be it at the end of a test, at the end of a semester, at the end of high school...at the end of your life. What do you want to accomplish? What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered? Now, what do you need to do to accomplish these endings?

Here is the PowerPoint Presentation I used:
(Beware: It is not for the faint of heart. It was meant to honestly communicate with teenagers when they need it the most. I did not sugar coat anything. I honestly spoke with them in hopes of maybe getting through to one or two of their pretty little heads!)

Take Control of Your Life

As I went through the presentation, I talked to them about being in control of their own lives. It doesn't feel like you have a lot of control when you are a teenager, but you do. It is about what you do with the control you have that determines how much control you get. So what did I say to them about these topics that most of us don't want to talk to our children about?

1. Drinking: (paraphrased) I know you are going to drink. I am not going to tell you not to. I wish you wouldn't but I am being realistic. I just want to explain to you why it is a bad idea and why you need to be safe if you choose to drink. There is a reason why the drinking age is 21. It is because the human body is not equipped to deal with the effects of alcohol until it is developed completely. That is why evertime I drank in high school I spent the next day throwing up and feeling like I wanted to die. I told them about the only time I ever drove after drinking and how I prayed to God the entire time to help make it. I discussed horrible decisions that I made because of alcohol.


2. Stunts: This was pretty simple. Are you stupid? Do you not value yourself more than to try to be cool to the point that you are endangering your life? Think about everything you do and how it could go wrong. Is it really worth it?

I spoke to them about drugs (all kinds) and sex (how to understand that everytime you do something you are losing a special piece of yourself that you can't get back.) We talked about reckless driving and how you need to slow down and how that text can wait.


Choosing to Love Yourself: This part focused on changing the way you think about yourself, boys, bullies, and friends. We did an activity where they sat in front of the mirror and for every negative things they thought about themselves they had to write something positive. It was amazing to see a whole wall of mirrors full of turning the negative thoughts they thinking about themselves into positive ones.

  Near the end, we focused on Beginning with the End in Mind. I asked them to think about what would happen if on the way home they were killed in a car accident. What would one of your team members say for your eulogy? Then they spread out around the room and wrote the eulogies that they would hope someone would read at their funeral. They were asked to think about whether or not they needed to change to be that person.

For our final activity, the students lined up along the wall with a piece of paper. They wrote their name in the center of the paper. They left the papers in a line and then they rotated down the line of papers until they had wrote one positive thing about each person. When they returned to their paper, they had a positive comment from every person in the group. It was awesome to see their faces as they read the good things their teammates said about them.


  Here are the videos I showed them:





Monday, September 17, 2012

It Hurts to Give


I am the first to admit that I do not tithe the way I should. You are supposed to tithe 10% of your income and the thought of doing that makes me cringe. It would be like 2 car payments if we tithed the amount my husband and I both bring in each month. We feel like we are barely making ends meet now, even though we make way more than most households, I am sure.
Yet, we give every month. It is not what we should give, and every month I try to give a little more and a little more. We are not where we should be but we are trying. I am so glad that God is not just "trying". I am so glad that He doesn't just give me 10%. I am so glad that He gives me 100%, and I am so very unworthy.

What I have found is that when I tithe like I should, amazing things happen. Amazing things are not the reason why you should tithe, but they sure make you see how much God loves you and they serve as a witness to others.

My husband is our financial GURU. He is the one who determines what we can give each month. I have even seen the clenching of his jaw when I tithe a little more than he thinks we can afford. I am glad he is the way he is otherwise we would be in some major trouble in these uncertain economic times.

With that said, I wanted to share a recent tithing experience. Anyone following my blog, knows that I have started a new business venture. I am selling the items I create for my classroom on the site Teachers Pay Teachers.  I have my own Tricks of the Trade store on the site and have started another blog called Tricks of the Teaching Trade.

Tricks of the Teaching Trade
I have done really well with this  business. As of September 4, I had earned about $875. I was feeling really good about myself until I saw in a TpT newsletter that one seller had earned $100,000 in the three months of June-August. 100,000!! I started looking at what I could do to improve sales. I "Pinned" my products, posted on Facebook, shared on Google +, and Tweeted nonstop. Then it hit me...I had not once said a prayer asking for God's blessing!

So I stopped right then and prayed. I prayed that God would bless my business, help teachers find my products helpful in teaching, and grant me the creativeness to create quality products. I then heard God speak...well, He sounded a lot like me...but I still know it was Him. He asked, "Have you tithed any of the money you have earned?"

So at church that Wednesday night, I did one last check of my total sales and tithed exactly 10% of my earnings so far. When I told my husband about it later, I got a very skeptical look complete with some intense jaw clenching.

Up to that point, it had been 7 months since I started selling and I had earned a total of $900 in those 7 months. That averages out to about $130 a month. The night I told my husband, I prayed that God would help me prove to  my husband that I wasn't crazy.

It is now almost 2 weeks later, and my total sales are at 1,315! That is an increase of almost $500 in just 2 weeks. Not months...WEEKS! In fact, September has been a banner month for my little business so far bringing in $440 and there are still 2 more weeks left.

So yes, sometimes It Hurts to Give. Yes, you can always think of somewhere else that money needs to go. Yes, there will never be enough money. But as much as It Hurts to Give, it feel 10,000 times better to give to God. No you should not tithe because you hope you will gain financially. You should tithe because God is good. He is good in all things and in all things He is good.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Yeah! I Went!

Did you go to Chick-Fil-A today? I did. Although, I must state it was not entirely intentional. I forgot it was "National Chick-Fil-A Day" and had already promised my girls that they could go and play. So we went at 5:00, and yeah it was crowded but it was worth it to get them to behave in Hobby Lobby. Plus, I love me some Chick-Fil-A!

However, I need to be clear. I did not go to support the belief that gay marriage is wrong: gay marriage does not bother me. I am not for it. I am not against it. Yes, I believe in the Bible and it states that marriage is between a man and a woman. But I also know that there are many things that the Bible teaches us that we choose to ignore when the situation suits us.

A sin is a sin. All of us live in sin everyday. Luckily, we do not have to rely on our actions to get into heaven. Jesus has paid our way for us. All we have to do is believe in him. And I do. And with that belief comes the knowledge that I am not in charge of pointing out the sins of others. Or judging others for their beliefs. If that was the case, then we would be in a world of trouble what with all of the drinking and cussing and smoking and adultery and anger and shame and blasphemy and tempting and ignoring of the hungry, the sick, and the needy....oh yeah, and the judging.

It is not my place to judge anyone for what they believe, be it that they believe in gay marriage or that they don't. The owner of CHick-Fil-A was asked his opinion:

In an interview with the Baptist Press and later on a Christian radio program, Mr. Cathy, whose father, the philanthropist Truett Cathy, founded the company, defended marriage between a man and a woman and when asked about the company's support of traditional marriage said, "Guilty as charged. We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit."


That was is it. He didn't stand up and saying, "You are going to hell if you are gay." He didn't say that Chick-Fil-A was firing all gay employees. He was asked his opinion about marriage and he gave it. Was it right? Not the opinion but his right to give his opinion? I thought that was a right that was guaranteed by the constitution under the heading of the First Amendment. 

By going to Chick-fil-A tonight, I was not saying that I am against gay marriage (because I am not), but I was saying that I am supporting our right to state what we believe in. I was supporting the fact that I believe in the family unit. Of course, I do! If I didn't, I wouldn't be married. Does that mean that I think it is wrong for a woman to marry a woman or a man to marry a man? No! 

In fact, I believe that gay couples who have committed their lives to each other should have the same rights my husband and I have. I have several very dear relatives who have loved someone of the same sex for most of their lives, and to see the struggles they have gone through when they are unable to have a say in the medical care or legal problems of their loved one is heart wrenching. 

I believe that the world is so full of hate that it needs more love. So stop hating. Stop hating. Stop hating people of a different color. Stop hating people of a different religion. Stop hating people who have a different beliefs in marriage than you do. Stop hating people who have a different opinions. And for goodness sake...stop hating Chick-Fil-A. Yeah! I went! Their sandwiches are delicious. And, by the way, I went to Disney the year that all the Christians boycotted it because of its pro stance on gay marriage, not because I agreed or disagreed but because I wanted to enjoy the Magic Kingdom...I mean, it's magical!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

United for Awesomeness

Liz: My sister and I are almost mirror images of each other. In fact, my husband says we have some "serious issues" because if one of us does something the other one does. She starts to lose weight. I start to lose weight. I start a blog. She starts a blog (although she sits next to me calling BS because I am the one who made her start it and also stating that while she does have over 15 views on her various posts, one could hardly count her a blogger when 13.5 of the views are from our Mother). I get my hair cut. She gets her hair cut. Sometimes these things happen so frequently that we have begun to complete not just each other's sentences but also each other's thoughts.

Leslie: (my husband is currently serving a self-inflicted timeout due to our craziness and need to ignore others when we are together) Ok I'm taking over....the fact is we are pretty much
twins....except for the intervening 4.5 years between us (she is OLDER of course). Frequently one of us will start a conversation and the other will say, "Seriously!!!! That happened the other day" as if the universe is in on the little copycat game we play. So it is quite curious that today a situation illustrating aforementioned events should occur today, this day we celebrate our parents Pseudo-birthday (Their real Date of Birth is the 28th, same day 2 years apart, look it up).

Liz: When we get together some funny things happen, and they usually revolve around our munchkins who are without a doubt cookie cutter copies of us. They had created a "restaurant" and we were their customers. We were handed the menu and a shocker! The following drinks were available: water, coke, and "bear". Now we all know there were no polar nor brown nor black nor grizzlies on that menu. "Bear" was beer! Way to go mothers of the year!

Leslie: ok, at the risk of being terrible - i found it hilarious. And we're walking......we were seated at the Munchkin Diner and after receiving our orders of Cake and soup w/ pancakes and green beans, our table requested ketchup. Our snarky waitress (no relation) provided our entire table with but one packet. A reasonable amount of complaining ensued, complete with talk of never patronizing this establishment EVA again.

Liz: I mean this mess happens all of the time. In fact, just last week I was in the drive-thru of the best fast food restaurant ever, The Chick-Fil-a where I ordered a #1 with fries and a coke, yet I was not permitted any ketchup. Granted, I didn't ask for it, but come on! Why do you have to order ketchup if you are ordering fries? 99.999999999% of the population eat their fries with ... mayonnaise? No! Mustard? No? Ranch dressing? Nooooo! Ketchup! They eat their fries with ketchup! So why must we ask for it?

Leslie: Fools! come on! I will crawl through your drive-thru window McDonald's Style! And here's the kicker: If you should have enough sense to request ketchup even though the wonderful team member neglected to foresee the need even though I just ordered FRIES, guess what folks....you will only receive 1 read it again ONE packet. Honestly its like a baby spoon of ketchup...not even a dollop.

Liz: Once I even had to tag in and out with people while rotating who went to the counter at Wendy's to ask for ketchup because they would only give you 1 packet of ketchup at a time, even though we had a table of 4 all eating fries.

Leslie: You get the point: there are many stupid things that annoy me and telepathically my dear sissy, thereby forcing me to waste time blogging and you to spend your time reading said rants. So you are witness the birth of a tradition: Our Plus 1 Posts.

Liz: Look for it every time we are together and unite for important issues (lack of ketchup), unite for annoying our husbands, UNITE FOR AWESOMENESS!!

Check out my super awesome website.

Friday, January 13, 2012

"I hate this #$@#%@! place!"

We are old pros at going to the Emergency Room. I mean seriously we should have had frequent flier miles with our oldest. During her first 4 years of life, we went to the ER for several ear infections, the flu, a nurse's elbow, pneumonia...you get my point. We should really be at the point where the next visit is FREE.

So we were only waiting on the day when it was time for #3's ER coronation. Apparently January 12th was that day.

When my husband got home with her at about 4 in the afternoon, she was really fussy and fell asleep while she was drinking her bottle. This is highly unusual seeing as she had just woken up from an afternoon nap about an hour before and never takes late afternoon naps any more. At about 6 he woke her up (I, in the mean time, was running the other two munchkins to dance and gymnastics and then back to dance).

She was burning up. Her fever was 102.3 and she wouldn't drink or eat. SHe just laid there on his chest. So he gave her some Tylenol, but an hour later the fever had actually gone up. On my way home, I stopped and got some ibuprofen. After having that, the fever still didn't seem to be going down and she was lethargic, which is something that is terrifying for even us old pros! So we called his sister to keep the other 2 and headed to the ER: our least favorite place. In fact that might be an understatement! My husband's exact words were, "I hate this #$@#%@! place!"

Now why oh why such strong words for a place that is supposed to offer nurturing and solace to those who are sick and in need. Well...

1. The random people you encounter-We are by no means snobs, but come on!!! Why is it that every
time we go to the emergency room we meet these people. You know the ones. First there is the one who is moaning and writhing in the chair from pain yet when her phone rings she is able to answer it. Then there are those with no teeth who loudly discuss Billy Bob and Norma Jean's latest falling out. Then there is the person who clearly has the flu but decides to sit beside you even though there are about 20 other empty seats. And how about those girls sitting there waiting on ...whoever...and can not talk below a 100 decibel level. Or how about the people who say...well..just stupid stuff, like "Man, I need a breathing treatment and a cigarette!" (Our roommate last night actually made this statement even though she sounded as if she needed 10 breathing treatments and had smoked a carton of cigarettes every day for the last 20 years!)

2. The wait-There were 2 other patients there last night when we got there and we still waited for over 30 minutes just to get back in a room. Then once we were back there with our sick and tired and irritable 8 month old, we waited for an hour and a half before we could ever see
anyone. It made worse that we had to wait with Smokey McSmokey and her husband named Bubba as they got into a fight and she told him he could walk home and if he looked at her again like that she was going to knock his teeth out! (Seriously...I can't make this stuff up!) And what are they doing any way to make you wait for so long. They weren't busy...not by a long shot.In fact, every time Smokey commanded Bubba to look out the window the only thing they were doing according to him was "not sh_t!". They were eating or talking or ...who knows what else, but what they weren't doing was taking care of patients.

And after all of that waiting...double ear infections and a sinus infection. Some saline drops, 2 shots, and a suppository later, we finally leave...at 11 p.m., 2 and a half hours after we arrived. I have to agree with my husband, "I hate this #$@#%@! place!"

Monday, January 2, 2012

No Scalpels in 2012

Every year I make many New Year's Resolutions, most of which are forgotten about by January 15th (don't know why that day, probably because it is the 2 week mark). I have different resolutions each year but there is always an underlying theme: LOSE WEIGHT AND GET IN SHAPE.

Luckily, due to wanting to have a super somewhat hot body for the cruise I have already accomplished the whole losing weight thing. Plus, due to the fact that I am laid up in the bed post hysterectomy, I think the whole get into shape resolution will have to wait a little while to even get started.

So I am left to think about what kind of resolution to make. I know which one my husband would
like me to make: I resolve to spend less much less money in 2012 thereby not purchasing any items of clothing for myself or munchkins, especially munchkin number 3 who has 2 sets of hand me downs coming to her. And seriously not purchasing any more shoes of which I have a serious fetish for. I will therefore only pin things that I would like to purchase via a fabulously addictive invention called Pinterest instead of pinning them down with my wallet.

However, given my current situation, laid up in bed post hysterectomy,I can think of another more pressing resolution that needs to be made: NO SCALPELS IN 2012. You might think this a strange resolution and to the average passerby it may be, but let me reflect upon the year of 2011 in order to better acquaint you with our surgeryprocedure-fest which was 2011.

In February, Brian had his second knee surgery in 2 years. I swear the boy doesn't seem to understand that he is not 18 years old and playing basketball with said 18 year olds can be detrimental to one's health.

In May, we welcomed baby girl number 3 into the world via a somewhat painful birth supplemented by an episiotomy. I know a little TMI, but you needed to understand that there was in fact a scalpel involved in order to understand the desperate need for this resolution.

In June, it was determined that my deteriorating vision which was thought to be due to pregnancy
but was then determined to be due to a macular bulge, which normally does not happen to those under the age of 50 but which made an exception for me (YAY!)And of course the only way to fix such bulge before it causes my retina to detach was by undergoing eye surgery. Not fun at all given the fact that you are slightly awake as they stab your eye and are then made to look like a pirate (arghhh!) for a few days. And made even worse since I could not pick up my then 8 week old.

In July, our 4th procedure of the year! After having to take care of all 3 girls by himself, Brian decided that he was good with his 3 darlings and in no need of trying for number 4. With
this decision he made an appointment for a vasectomy. This was by far our least invasive procedure but as any woman who has dealt with her man after undergoing one knows a very sensitive one, where one must be babied for a few days.

At this point we thought we were good. Done with procedures and surgeries and, for sure, births. But then in September my pains returned. These were the pains that I had prior to getting pregnant that were discovered to be caused by ovarian cysts. These were the pains that put me out of commission for hours after the onset of an attack. After another round of meds and ultrasounds it was determined that the problem wasn't my ovaries but my uterus, and due to the fact that I no longer needed it (revisit procedure number 4), it was decided that it should just come out.

And this is where I sit now. A week out of a surgery that took my uterus and left ovary due to the fact that they were both eaten up with endometriosis, which is strange seeing as I had never had a problem with it. I could definitely think of worse things than never having to worry about birth control again and never having to purchase tampons again (see I AM trying to save money).
That being said, I would really like for my family to avoid all "procedures" in 2012. Let's just have a surgery free year. So my resolution for this New Year is No Scalpels in 2012!








Friday, December 9, 2011

The Best Feelings in the World

The other day I made the statement, "Oooohh...this is the best feeling in the world." Get your mind out of the gutter. That was totally not what I was doing. Although, without a doubt, I have made the exact same proclamation in a totally different situation much to the satisfaction of my husband (pun definitely intended)!
No...what I was doing was using a Q-tip to clean my ear( I know, TMI). Now, for some people, this does not feel so good, but for me...it is ahhhmazing! I don't know why it feels so good, but it does. I have to make myself move on in the morning.
This led me to think about all of the things that feel Oh So Good!! So with the help of my Bunco group and others, I came up with the following list of The Best Feelings in the World. Have no fear! There is nothing sexual on this list. That would be for a totally different kind of blog.

Cleaning out your ear with a Q-Tip
Having someone play with your hair
A hot shower
Finally taking those heels off
Finally taking that bra off
Getting your back scratched
Getting into a bed that has just been made with clean sheets
A manicure or pedicure
When you are walking some where and that little, tiny, soft hand reaches up to grab yours
Napping on the beach
Getting to pee after you have been holding it for forever
A body slamming hug from a toddler
That first sip of a cold beer on the beach
Reaching that spot that itches oh so bad
Coffee in the morning
When you write that last check that pays off your car, house, etc.
When your skinny jeans finally zip back up
Dancing in the rain
The excitement of Christmas
The first bite of your favorite...meal, dessert, etc.
Coming home to a clean house that you did not have to clean
That first kiss
That nap after Thanksgiving lunch
A massage shoulders, back, foot...

What else can you think of? What are your Best Feelings in the World?

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Totally Counts

As someone who completely despises exercise and thinks that anyone who likes to do it is crazy and glutton for punishment, I try to find things that Totally Count as exercise. Now please be forewarned. This could be controversial, yet it makes me and, hopefully, the millions of other lazy people out there feel better about ourselves and our lack of physical activity.

Here is my list of things that totally count as working out:

1. Putting on work out clothes totally counts as working out. Just the thought and effort it takes to wiggle into that sports bra as
my head gets caught in it with my arms and boobs sticking out totally counts as exercise. Hey! That takes a lot of effort and apparently brings
about a lot of laughing when my children or husband come in and see me stumbling around trying to get the sports bra down!

2. Driving past the gym. Okay you might not have realized you were going that way, but you suddenly find yourself driving past the gym. This
totally counts as working out. I mean, it takes effort to drive pass the gym and not stop (bahahaha). Plus, if you are still wearing your work out gear it counts double.



3. Going to Wal-Mart in your work out clothes totally counts as working out. You can up this work out by parking further out in the parking lot,
speed walking as you stock your cart, and loading and unloading your groceries. And if you are fighting with your children the whole time about
what you will and will not add to your cart then you are totally burning more calories!

4. Wearing Shape Up or Tone Up shoes totally count as working out.
I know the first week I had my Sketcher Tone Ups my thighs and bum hurt just from wearing them to work. So if wearing these shoes causes me to be sore and hurt then I quite sure that it totally counts as working out!

5. Having sex totally counts as working out. Not only is it a proven calorie burner, but the effort it takes just to get started is a serious work out. I am not being dirty here and talking about foreplay. I am talking about how exhausted and stressed out you are, and how the thought of doing anything else is the last thing on your mind. We all know what it is like to be a mother. It is not that you don't want to because you do. It is just that it takes so much effort and so much energy of which you have very little. So when you have it, it totally counts!

So am I advocating not exercising? No! You can't lose weight without exercising, and I am all about trying to lose weight. But it is good to know some things totally count as working out....even if it is only in my mind!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Pure Stupidity

Pure Stupidity

So our night has been interrupted by the playoffs. I don't know why I am surprised. Our nights, days, and lives, for that matter, have been interrupted by football since July. It is our livelihood after all (I am married to a football coach). However, upon proper reflection, I have decided that there are some things about football, the sport that I love the most, that are purely stupid. 


First of all, it is ridiculous how much professional football players make. I realize they are providing entertainment for millions of people but does that indicate the need to pay them millions upon millions? I agree that there are a lot of overpaid people and professions in this world. People who do a whole lot less than just entertain, but the fact remains that they are being paid to play a game. A GAME!!! I am educating the future of our country and will not make half of what they make in a year in my lifetime. Certainly there is something better that all of this money can go to. Wouldn't it be amazing to see them donate half of their salary to something worthy. I mean Peyton Manning, who is not the highest paid, takes home an average of 14.2 million dollars a year. Certainly, he could live on 7.1 million for one year. Imagine what that money could do for education or the homeless or the hungry or the Freaking Hill Family;)


The major thing that really causes me to question the intelligence of those involved with the sport is the fact that it is presently 13 degrees in Pittsburgh with a wind chill factor of 4 degrees and no one, I repeat NO ONE,  on the whole entire field has on sleeves. Are you kidding me? I get it ! You are a man! You are tough! I also get that you are STUPID! I mean I know that moving around warms up your body, but ain't nobody out there moving around enough to warm up FOUR DEGREES! And I seriously doubt that they have those handy dandy toe and hand warmers on. That would at least keep some;) of their extremities from contracting frost bite and falling off. My husband did inform me that some coaches don't allow their players to wear sleeves. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! Well I hope they are enjoying themselves in their super warm down coat with their thick gloves and lovely long underwear while their overpaid players freeze to death. 


Oh I get it! That is why they are paid so much. They have to make up for all of the fingers and toes they might lose while playing in these types of games. Not to mention, all of the concussions and blown out knees. Either way I think there are parts of football that equal PURE STUPIDITY!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Wonderings: Part 1

Wonderings: Part 1




Football Fans-
Why in the world would someone come to a football game not dressed in the proper attire? No, you do not need to have your chest painted or a team shirt on, but, come on, at least wear the right color. Red or black. Very common colors. It is not like we are baby blue and lavender or something. Certainly you have something that is red or black in your closet. Oh, you are not really that into football.....then don't come to the game. Trust me I would not be there if I were not into football. Or if it did not determine my livelihood. Plus, what if you wear the color of the other team? Like the lady in purple last night when the other team was purple. Seriously? What were you thinking? I wonder.


Tights-
Why do you think that little girls tights stop the patterns a good foot or more from the top? I mean we all know how hard it is for tights to stay up, especially when their owners are running and dancing about. We have the cutest pairs of polka dot, striped, argyle, and a variety of other tights. Yet they all turn plain half way up. Meaning that the little munchkins' mama must constantly pull up their tights so that the plain part does not hang below the dress or skirt. Certainly, they are designed by someone who has never had little girls that wear said tights. Otherwise, they certainly would have designed the patterns to continue all the way up. Does it really cost that much more to continue the pattern another foot? What were these people thinking? I wonder.


Wanna Be Disciplinarians-
Have you ever been in a store or in some other public location and see a child misbehaving? Now, I know how I would handle this. As quietly as possible in order to not draw any more attention to myself and my misbehaving munchkin. Please know that I would not allow said munchkin to continue to misbehave. However there are people with a very different philosophy. These are the people who discipline as loudly as possible in order to draw all attention to them. And the things they are saying...."Boy, get your a@# in this cart"...."do you want me to jerk you up"....." I am going to back hand you". I have three theories:
1. They want us to call DFACS on them because they are in fact tired of being parents and would like a short break from their children while they are placed in foster care for a little while.
2. They want everyone to think they are excellent parents. Clearly they are confused. Excellent parenting does not involve screaming at, beating, or belittling your child in public.
3. They have just lost it. As we all sometimes do. But I don't think this is the issue in most cases at the Wal-Mart.
What are they thinking? And why do they keep having children? And can they get any louder? I wonder.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Life's Too Short

Disclaimer: This is deep.


My small town of Cairo seems to have experienced so many losses in the last few months. There are too many to name all of them, but there were some that really struck close to home. 


First, Jake Elkins, the heart of our State Championship football team. So young. So vivacious. So loving and giving. So very, very tragic. He was snatched from life so early and pointlessly. No one knows why, and no one probably ever will. There are no answers, and there are so many questions. All we know is that his life ended before he ever really got to live, and his death left a community aching and comforting each other in its wake. All of us questioning. All of us hurting. All of us coming together. 


Next Wendell Harrison. I didn't know Wendell, nor do I know his family, but his death was so quick and the people around him loved him so much that it has left an impression on my heart. What really affected me about his death was that I saw him about 10 minutes before his death. I had to run home for something and I cut through the back roads. On my way back, I noticed the men standing in the hole in the middle of the street attending to the gas line. Ten minutes later he was gone. Taken right from the spot where he and his fellow workers stood returning my wave as I passed. So quick. 


Then there was precious Mikiah King. This angel was taken by an impaired driver as her parents were driving    down the road. I don't know all of the details of her death, but I know that her parents were making a trek that I made today with my own children, and she was snatched from their lives in the blink of an eye. The pain her mother and father are feeling is unimaginable to me. I can not even comprehend, and I pray every day and every night that I will never have to experience such utter and complete despair. Why would God choose to take a beautiful child? No one can know his plan, but we can't help but question. 


Finally (at least I pray it is because I don't know how much more our community can take) my friend, Jenni, lost her husband. He got up in the middle of the night to be the good daddy that he was to take care of his precious son, and sometime in the hour and a half left of the night he had a heart attack. Can you imagine? You kiss the love of your life good night and awake to find him gone. They had such a short time together, barely even six years. But they knew how much they loved each other. I think about the ten years I have been with my husband and the times we have gone to bed angry or the times I have been so mad that I have left in anger not even saying I love you.  What if something had happened to him? 


We take too much for granted. Maybe that is why these things happen....to teach us to appreciate those around us. Maybe they happen to help us learn to tell those we love that we love them every day with every chance we get. Maybe they happen so that we will know that no day is guaranteed, and we should live each day as if it is our last. Maybe they happen to keep others from dying in the same way later. Maybe they happen to bring people together, like Jake did for our community. Maybe they happen to bring people to God. Just think about the people who have come to know Jesus through the deaths of those they love. Maybe...


We won't ever know why tragic, heartbreaking events occur. We won't ever know how anyone comes through on the other side of these events....how they are able to go on living. I pray that I never have to find out in my own life. 


All I know is that  I will tell those I love that I love them everyday. I will try to treat the people I see with love and respect, because you never know what they are or could be soon going through. And I know that I will trust my Lord and Savior no matter how much I might question him about Why? 


I do not know his plan, and I never will. I just know that he loves us and commands us to love each other. And I know that we are never promised tomorrow. I know that every day I need to love those around me with this in mind. After all life's too short to let one chance to tell someone you love them pass.