The Gnat Ninja

The Gnat Ninja

It all started last week on Wednesday. I was getting ready for school when I notice a small reddish brown fly flying around and lighting on the mirror. I just waved it off literally and metaphorically thinking the whole time, "Shoo fly don't bother me!"


In retrospect, I should have shooed him to his death by using my hand to silence his short life. For the next day where there was once one there were now three. And by the weekend, there were a multitude of these pesky, tiny, six legged demons! Maybe that is why they appear red. See its demon eyes!


By Sunday our kitchen and bathrooms were swarming with them. I just waved them off and the girls ran away. My normally laid back husband, however, took on a new persona. He made every effort to kill them. Now this is not an easy feat. You see they don't land for very long and they are quite small (we are talking millimeters here). So spraying was really not possible unless you want to cover your whole house and everything in it with nasty, smelly, and, I hear, poisonous :) bug spray. 


So my dear, normally sweet, husband took on a new approach. He became...The Gnat Ninja!!!

He might not leap buildings in a single bound (difficult with 2 bum knees). He might not be faster than a speeding bullet (also difficult in old age). He is definitely not stronger than a locomotive (although he can lift his 8 month pregnant wife off the floor). But one thing he can do his trap a fly and bring it to meet its Maker. In this case, I am referring to its Syrupmaker since we are from Cairo, Ga "Home of the Syrupmakers".

Their numbers are beginning to dwindle. I have done some research and am scrubbing everything. We are  pouring bleach down the drains where they appear to lay their larvae. We are also quick to enter and exit in order to try to avoid allowing more of the troops to invade our house. Have no fear our children are fine even after being thrown out the door and down the steps ;) 

However, most of the credit for the elimination of our household's fly/gnat species must be given to my husband-The Gnat Ninja!! Hopefully now, with his help, our household will live long and prosper while these annoying pests rest in peace...or at least some where other than in our kitchen!!

At Our Wits End

There is no doubt that I was spoiled by my first child. Now, the first year was hard. She was never happy. I mean we even had to eat in shifts because she did not like to sit down. However, after that I must admit that she has been an easy going and enjoyable child for 99% of the time. 

My second has been the exact opposite. The first year was great and then she turned one and all hell broke lose. Everything came in extremes. She is extremely hyper or extremely happy or extremely loving or extremely mad. The worst, however, is when she is extremely sad. 


Now let me be clear this sadness is not due to some sort of manic depressive disorder. Nor is it due to some sudden loss of a binkie or beloved toy. There is actually no predicting what will bring on the tears. It could be that she doesn't want to go to bed or doesn't want to brush her teeth or is told no about something or sometimes there is absolutely no reason at all. 


For example, today we got home and I told the girls to go wash their hands while I made them a snack. The next thing I know she has flung herself on the floor of the hallway and the tears have begun to flow. Why you might ask or I might want to scream as I fall to my knees throwing my fists up in surrender? I don't know. Maybe she wasn't hungry. Maybe she liked grimy hands. Maybe she was tired and thought the floor would be a soft place to lie down and found it was not. 



Whatever the reason, the crying continued behind closed door (she chose to seclude herself in her room) until I went in 20 minutes later to offer a snack and for some reason it stopped. This is not always the case. We have tried everything! We have timed out, taken away things, rewarded her for good behavior, praised her, spanked her, tried hard to avoid all triggers like land mines laying in wait of destruction of the peace of our household. NOTHING WORKS! We have had 2 hour long crying fits! 


Today I even created a chart with her help. We chose all the things we wanted her to do without whining and crying. I even searched for over 30 minutes for pictures of the Disney Princesses sleeping, getting dressed, and even brushing their hair. She gets a smiley face every time she does something without whining or crying. However, at bedtime she lied about going to the bathroom and did not get a smiley face. Once again, all hell breaks lose. 


We tried everything to calm her down. We hugged her. We threatened her. We took things away. We pointed out that she could still get another smiley. Alas, nothing worked. Eventually, I lost it and started my hyperventilating hormonal crying, which seriously frightened my husband who is trying very hard to keep me from going into preterm labor. He took her outside to calm her down, which made her even louder, and we are still amazed that DFACS was not called as it sound like she was being seriously hurt even though no one was touching her. 


Now, in the calm after the storm, I have searched many sites about what to do. There are all of these suggestions about what to do to prevent tantrums. None of which are helpful to us seeing as we are already doing them all. There are all kinds of suggestions about what to do during a tantrum. None of which help us because we have tried them all to no avail! 


Now the real problem. Yes, she seems to be at her wits end, but now so are we! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!! This will be a really bad problem to still have in 8 weeks when we have crying baby to add to the mix. 

What's in a Name?

What's in a Name

So I am 32 weeks pregnant!! Which is great, although I feel a little apprehensive because it was at 32 weeks when I went in to preterm labor with my second darling. We have the nursery ready and all of the 0-3 month clothes have been washed. Speaking of that why do you think that you can put clothes into a box completely clean and after a couple of years in the attic they come out stained? Its like there is some little, mischievous leprechaun up there peeing on everything:)We had to throw away so much! 


Anyway, we have the nursery ready. We have the clothes washed and put away. Last weekend, we bought anything we were lacking, like a Pack-n-Play because the last one met an unfortunate end after my 30 birthday party when someone..... tried to take it down quickly and then really "took it down" like a Bambi's mother on doe day! We have diapers and wipes. What we don't have is a name!


Naming is getting quite ridiculous. It becomes a Facebook epidemic every time I post something complete with multitudes of comments and suggestions that even seem to leak onto other people's walls. It was so funny to me how one time I went to comment on one of my dear friend's walls and found a whole discussion about this little girl's name. I am so lucky to have so many people who care:)


However, that does not solve the problem that the only name this kid has is Lady A. Yes, her name must start with an A. We have an Aubrey and an Addison and multitudes upon multitudes of monogrammed clothing. Anyone who knows us realizes that we are way too cheap, I mean thrifty;) to let those clothes go to waste. 


We have tried Adalyn, Abree, Alivia, Aniston, Archer, Ansley, Alli, Alaina, Alana, Amberly, Analeise...and countless others including Axel Rose;) However, we cannot agree on any. Every time we come close one of us, usually me, changes their mind.  


It is no surprise this is happening. It was very difficult to name our first 2. We actually found the name Aubrey in the boy's section of the name book, and it took forever to come up with Addison (and Brian still pouts about her being name for an adulterous ho on Grey's Anatomy;)'. 


I would like to blame it on Brian whose number one response to name suggestions is " H- No!", but I must admit I am just as picky. I mean "What's in a Name"?...EVERYTHING!! Alas, it looks like we might be in the hospital naming this kid unless we just decide to predetermine her future as a pop star or a duchess and leave her name as Lady A!