So after seeing an overloading of spoiler posts all over social media Thursday night and Friday, I was finally able to sit down and watch that which shall for ever be known as "Oh my good lord, Shonda Rhimes!!!! How could you possibly ever do this? I hate you!!! How dare you!!?!?! Worst episode ever!! Even worse than the death of Denny!!" episode of Grey's Anatomy.While I am still in emotional shock, my sister has gone into crazy, conspiracy, I hate you, Shonda Rhimes mode. She recently went into this mode via text messaging, which I feel the need to share below. Not only because it is hilarious, but also because whereas it is a wee bit insane it is also seriously insightful!
WARNING: Clearly there are spoilers.
WARNING PART 2: I am bleeping out the language.
WARNING PART 3: There is much hate for Shonda Rhimes in these messages, however, we all know we love her even after Denny, George, Lexie, Mark...Jake...Der...its too soon for that.
My sister:
So I've been thinking....
Derek Shepard was loaded, right? I mean we can rightly assume that the dude was rolling?
Me:
You mean loaded as in drunk or loaded as in leaving Meredith with bazillions
My sister:
I mean like the dude was basically a millionaire. Right?
I think we can safely assume these things, yes?
Me:
Yes
My sister:
Ok. So that being the case and judging from previous instances we know that McDreamy enjoys the finer things in life, yes?
Exhibit A: pretty sure he got a big fat settlement from a @#%^ing plane crash and now partially owns a hospital along with his wife.
Exhibit B: This monstrosity
Exhibit C: He is a dad gum brain surgeon!
Also, I'm fairly certain there was an episode where he, mark and someone else shared a very old, read: very expensive bottle of scotch.
Ok. So that being the case and judging from previous instances we know that McDreamy enjoys the finer things in life, yes?
Would you agree on all of these points?
Me:
What are you getting at?
My sister:
I'm 99.9% sure that he was driving a brand new Porche SUV.
Me:
And....
My sister:
And since we know that Dr. OhWaitIAmFingDeadNow never skimps, we should logically conclude that his ride was loaded. All the bells and whistles?
Me:
You mean, like, even though it has all that it is still shocking that the air bag must have been state of the art since it allowed him stay alive for a little while after being slammed into by a semi?
My sister:
Meaning it would have Bluetooth. Which we do, indeed, know was the very case as, at the beginning of the episode he was talking to Amelia and Bailey using this very safety feature
Ergo - no need to dig for his f-ing phone bc it would have come thru the Motha@#$%ing Bluetooth.
Screw you Shonda!!! If you're gonna kill him off at least use common sense.
Oh and speaking of Amelia. Ummmm......you're telling me that Meredith not only neglected to call in his family to say their goodbyes, she denied his sister (who achieves the impossible on a regular basis) the chance at a second opinion?
So either our dear b@#$% of a friend Shonda is pulling a Dallas, or Meredith was performing her own version of a conscious uncoupling.
Me:
This last point is so very true!!! Why wouldn't she have called Amy?
My sister:
My conclusion is that Meredith, unseen to us, had gone thru Derek's phone and discovered the sexts and nudies sent by his "research assistant" and was just laying in wait for an opportunity to strike. Gets off Scott free. No one suspects a thing. She is an extremely gifted surgeon who's mental facilities clearly exceed that of the average, run of the mill black widow.
Me:
Well then...She is dark and twisty.
My sister:
Think about it
.....
😕
My sister:
I haven't watch scandal. And probably never will bc that b@#$% has ruined TV for me.
Me:
I hate her!!!!
My sister:
That and I shot all of the TVs in my house immediately upon the conclusion of Grey's Anatomy
Me:
Scandal was good though
My sister:
I can't handle another sexy man being killed.
She's such an asshole.
That is all! Nuff said!!! I think she might be a genius!