Never Leaving

Never Leaving!!

I will admit that I am a lucky person! I have two beautiful daughters, a loving and attentive husband, and another small munchkin arriving soon. Everyday I count my blessings. 


We are also blessed with parents who have acquired a beach house at the most relaxing and beautiful beach that has ever existed, Grayton Beach. It is my favorite place to be, and if you have ever been there I am quite certain you would agree. No hotels. No condos. No spring breakers screaming, wetting their t-shirts, and cruising the strip. 


Now if only I could develop some way to stay here forever. What could I do??? Hmmm..... 


I could be a beach chair putter outer. You know the person who brings the ridiculously priced rental chairs out on the beach in the morning and picks them up in the afternoon. I am quite certain I could find lots of other things to do with my in between time!


I could become a beach photographer and charge yuppy families ridiculous amounts of money. I mean think about it: You only take pictures at sunset. You never have to worry about lighting. You never have to worry about costume changes because they always wear white. Then I could charge lots of money for the sitting fee and the prints. Mawahahaha. 


I could run a beach delivery service. No, I am not talking about delivering babies. I am talking about delivering beach things for the beach for poor yuppy beach families that have to drag their multitudes of beach paraphernalia down the board walk, through the sand, and down to the water. The same yuppy families we point and laugh at as we ride by in our beach truck as a storm is approaching and everyone is running from the beach. No, we are not cruel. We are just tired of them allowing their kids to come steal our kids' toys and then walking away and expecting us to watch their little yuppy spawns. 


Or better yet, I could win the lottery. Winning the lottery is the way to go I think. I mean then I don't have to be a slave to the yuppies, and I can hire a pedicurist to do my toes in new fun colors every day. I could hire a cabana boy to smear on my sunscreen and fan me. Or better yet, he could be the one who has to lather up my munchkins who refuse to sit still while I do it. 


Whatever way it happens, I am never leaving!! Sacrifices must be made. 

The Gnat Ninja

The Gnat Ninja

It all started last week on Wednesday. I was getting ready for school when I notice a small reddish brown fly flying around and lighting on the mirror. I just waved it off literally and metaphorically thinking the whole time, "Shoo fly don't bother me!"


In retrospect, I should have shooed him to his death by using my hand to silence his short life. For the next day where there was once one there were now three. And by the weekend, there were a multitude of these pesky, tiny, six legged demons! Maybe that is why they appear red. See its demon eyes!


By Sunday our kitchen and bathrooms were swarming with them. I just waved them off and the girls ran away. My normally laid back husband, however, took on a new persona. He made every effort to kill them. Now this is not an easy feat. You see they don't land for very long and they are quite small (we are talking millimeters here). So spraying was really not possible unless you want to cover your whole house and everything in it with nasty, smelly, and, I hear, poisonous :) bug spray. 


So my dear, normally sweet, husband took on a new approach. He became...The Gnat Ninja!!!

He might not leap buildings in a single bound (difficult with 2 bum knees). He might not be faster than a speeding bullet (also difficult in old age). He is definitely not stronger than a locomotive (although he can lift his 8 month pregnant wife off the floor). But one thing he can do his trap a fly and bring it to meet its Maker. In this case, I am referring to its Syrupmaker since we are from Cairo, Ga "Home of the Syrupmakers".

Their numbers are beginning to dwindle. I have done some research and am scrubbing everything. We are  pouring bleach down the drains where they appear to lay their larvae. We are also quick to enter and exit in order to try to avoid allowing more of the troops to invade our house. Have no fear our children are fine even after being thrown out the door and down the steps ;) 

However, most of the credit for the elimination of our household's fly/gnat species must be given to my husband-The Gnat Ninja!! Hopefully now, with his help, our household will live long and prosper while these annoying pests rest in peace...or at least some where other than in our kitchen!!

At Our Wits End

There is no doubt that I was spoiled by my first child. Now, the first year was hard. She was never happy. I mean we even had to eat in shifts because she did not like to sit down. However, after that I must admit that she has been an easy going and enjoyable child for 99% of the time. 

My second has been the exact opposite. The first year was great and then she turned one and all hell broke lose. Everything came in extremes. She is extremely hyper or extremely happy or extremely loving or extremely mad. The worst, however, is when she is extremely sad. 


Now let me be clear this sadness is not due to some sort of manic depressive disorder. Nor is it due to some sudden loss of a binkie or beloved toy. There is actually no predicting what will bring on the tears. It could be that she doesn't want to go to bed or doesn't want to brush her teeth or is told no about something or sometimes there is absolutely no reason at all. 


For example, today we got home and I told the girls to go wash their hands while I made them a snack. The next thing I know she has flung herself on the floor of the hallway and the tears have begun to flow. Why you might ask or I might want to scream as I fall to my knees throwing my fists up in surrender? I don't know. Maybe she wasn't hungry. Maybe she liked grimy hands. Maybe she was tired and thought the floor would be a soft place to lie down and found it was not. 



Whatever the reason, the crying continued behind closed door (she chose to seclude herself in her room) until I went in 20 minutes later to offer a snack and for some reason it stopped. This is not always the case. We have tried everything! We have timed out, taken away things, rewarded her for good behavior, praised her, spanked her, tried hard to avoid all triggers like land mines laying in wait of destruction of the peace of our household. NOTHING WORKS! We have had 2 hour long crying fits! 


Today I even created a chart with her help. We chose all the things we wanted her to do without whining and crying. I even searched for over 30 minutes for pictures of the Disney Princesses sleeping, getting dressed, and even brushing their hair. She gets a smiley face every time she does something without whining or crying. However, at bedtime she lied about going to the bathroom and did not get a smiley face. Once again, all hell breaks lose. 


We tried everything to calm her down. We hugged her. We threatened her. We took things away. We pointed out that she could still get another smiley. Alas, nothing worked. Eventually, I lost it and started my hyperventilating hormonal crying, which seriously frightened my husband who is trying very hard to keep me from going into preterm labor. He took her outside to calm her down, which made her even louder, and we are still amazed that DFACS was not called as it sound like she was being seriously hurt even though no one was touching her. 


Now, in the calm after the storm, I have searched many sites about what to do. There are all of these suggestions about what to do to prevent tantrums. None of which are helpful to us seeing as we are already doing them all. There are all kinds of suggestions about what to do during a tantrum. None of which help us because we have tried them all to no avail! 


Now the real problem. Yes, she seems to be at her wits end, but now so are we! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!! This will be a really bad problem to still have in 8 weeks when we have crying baby to add to the mix.