Stick a Needle in My Eye

So back in February I started seeing floaters in my left eye. At first, I wasn't really sure what they were. I thought that maybe there was dirt in my eye. Alas, that was not the case. My vision in my left eye began to deteriorate. Because I was pregnant, the doctors thought that maybe it was caused by the pregnancy.

After giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, my vision did not improve as it should have after all of the swelling receded. So I was sent to a specialist: one of the most renowned surgeons in the Southeast. And it turns out that I had a macular bulge, which is extremely rare for anyone under the age of 50.

So 6 weeks after giving birth, I went "under the knife" or the needle in this case and had surgery one my eye and enjoyed the best sleep I had had in 6 weeks (more if you count all of those sleepless nights before giving birth). However, it took a while to actually be able to see out of my eye again and even longer for the vision to return to somewhat normal.

The latest development occurred last week after I waited for over 2 hours in the waiting room. After waiting for so long, the doctor informed me that the drops I had been using since the surgery to reduce post-surgery swelling had not been working. The way to solve it: an injection into my EYEBALL!!! I about freaked out, but he assured me it would be no big deal. I beg to differ sticking a needle in my eye is a big deal (and not just when you break a promise).

But what was I to do? I agreed and really didn't feel anything. However, my eye started hurting and watering shortly after ruining a perfectly good trip to Target, and by the time I got home it was seriously scary looking. It was blood red. Not bloodshot, but it looked like blood had pooled in my eyeball.

Turns out he had nicked a blood vessel with the needle when he did the injection. It cause a hemorrhage in my eyeball, which is apparently just like a bruise. But you can see the blood because it is not covered by skin. It is supposed to go away in 2-3 weeks. In the mean time, I am stuck looking like a Halloween costume that hasn't been put up yet and should probably be on the 75% off rack. On a positive note, I am having a lot of fun freaking out my students.

Where Did My Angel Go!

For the last 6 months my husband and I have counted ourselves lucky. We relished in the peacefulness of having a perfectly content baby. Now, I am not saying she never fusses or cries. She does. However, she only cries when she is hungry or when that dirty diaper has gone unnoticed. Whenever she starts to fuss, it is because she is tired of the bouncy seat or tired of the exer-saucer or tired of rolling around on the floor or just plain tired.

Now granted, she is by far not a perfect baby. She still does not sleep through the night. We haven't fed her at night since she was 10 weeks old but she still wakes up at least once wanting her pacifier. In fact, I would only need one hand and for that matter only a couple of fingers to count the number of times she has slept completely through the night.

My other 2 girls both slept through the night at 6 weeks. Of course the second one took forever to get on a schedule and whereas she slept through the night it took forever for her to actually go to sleep, and we finally had to "Ferberize" her, which was absolutely miserable but worked. Once it was done she was the happiest baby. That is until 1. My first child slept perfectly but was colicky and had a witching hour that lasted from 4-8 for the first 12 weeks. The only thing that made her happy was for me to dance around with her (needless, to say I lost a little weight). I guess you take the good with the bad. The oldest child has turned into the most easy going kid while the second one is all me: dramatic, dynamic, and drumming for attention.

But now this perfectly content baby has morphed into a perfectly pissed off baby. She does fine at the sitter's but when we get home nothing satisfies her: not the exer-saucer, not the bouncy seat, not the floor, not her bed, not even her pacifier! I have to carry her around the whole time. I feel as if I am going back in time to that witching hour with my first child. I thought we were past all of this. I thought the first eight weeks were the worst.

Now granted, she does have a runny nose. So I am sure she does not feel good. Bless her heart. She also is at that point where she is ready to give up the late afternoon nap but can't quite make it yet. Again, bless her heart. All of this makes her very, very, very unhappy. BLESS MY HEART!

So we are humidifying and suctioning and vapor rubbing on feet and feeding earlier and bathing earlier and going to bed earlier, but the transition is about to kill me. My husband received the following text from me while he was on the football field today, "I can't take much more of this...I MEAN IT!"

All I have to say is: Thank the Lord for older children who can bathe themselves.. Thank the Lord for a husband who leaves his job and comes home early. Thank the Lord for a sister-in-law who is watching all three children along with her own so that I can have a break tomorrow afternoon, even if it is at the doctor's office. And thank the Lord for Zoloft, because without that "sweet nectar of life" the question of Where did my angel go? would have sent me over the edge!

My How Times Have Changed

Tonight it is just me and the girls. My husband had an away football game, so I thought we would have a movie night. We had a pizza picnic in the middle of the living room and watched one of my favorite Halloween movies, Hocus Pocus. I found it in the Red Box rental thingy at Wal-Mart. I had not seen it anywhere in so long and I knew the girls would like it and they are enjoying it completely. They are thoroughly enamored with it.

What I had forgotten is how many curse words are in it. Bette Middler's "Damn, damn, double damn!" certainly through me for a loop. Not to mention Sarah Jessica Parker's endless sexual innuendos. And the countless discussions about the virgin who lit the black flame candle. I am just waiting for one of them to ask, "Mama, what is a virgin?" Now I am quite open with my children but that is one I am not quite ready for. I also was not quite prepared for how scared they were. When it was done they both just looked at me. I asked them if they didn't like it? They said it was so scary. Of course 2 minutes later, my youngest asked "Can we watch it again?"

You know this is like all of the great movies I enjoyed during my childhood. One of my favorite movies ever was The Goonies. I loved Mikey and Mouth and Chunk and Andy and the whole gang. I mean what a great adventure movie. My sister and I rented it almost every weekend from the only video store in town and took it home in a blue vinyl box (blue for PG). However, have you watched it lately? I mean, Chunk yells out "S--t" in the first 2 minutes of the movie and it is repeated many times a longs with many damns and a few hells thrown in for good measure. Then there is the dead body that keeps `popping up everywhere and the fact that escaped convicts are constantly trying to kill them.

And then there is my most favorite movie of all time, GREASE! It is so awesome and has the most amazing music. My sister and I had numerous musical numbers that we performed in our living room choreographed to the almost exact sequence of Sandy, Danny, the Pink Ladies and the T-Birds. But seriously, have you watched it since you crossed into adulthood. OMG! What was my mother thinking? First there's the whole sex thing, what with the Kenickie's "$0.75 insurance policy" aka condom that breaks. Rizzo possibly knocked up the whole time, and the constant making out.

Then there are the songs...the wonderful songs...the wonderful and, now I realize, dirty, dirty songs:

"You know that ain't shit when we'll be gettin' lots of tit in greased lightnin'"

"You know that I ain't braggin', she's a real p---y wagon - greased lightnin"
"As for you Troy Donahue, I know what you wanna do. You got your crust I'm no object of lust I'm just plain Sandra Dee"
"She swam by me, she got a cramp. He ran by me, got my suit damp"
" He got friendly, holding my hand. While she got friendly down in the sand."

I don't know if my mom didn't watch these movies with us, or if she just knew it all would go over our heads like it did. I know that if you don't make a big deal of things kids, normally, won't pick up on it. But it is so funny how now I will defintely think twice about watching some of my favorite childhood memories with my children. My how times have changed!