Welcome to the fabulous and sometimes insane life
of a working mother who is trying hard not to
let her whole existence be determined by her
cute little munchkins, yet continues to be drawn
in by the adorable and sometimes annoying tiny people!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Oh What A Tangled Web We Weave

Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave

Let me start by saying this, "Lying is wrong!" We all know this. We are taught it at a very young age the first time we say, "I didn't do it" when clearly there was no one else who could have or would have colored on the wall. That being said I think we can all agree that there comes a time when one must fib a little. And most of the time I do it with out feeling guilty, but when I had to recently lie to Mary, the sweet, old cashier at Publix, and her elderly gentleman bagger I must admit I felt soooo guilty that I immediately prayed to God for forgiveness. 

So what had happened was (spoke with a ghetto infliction) this:

On Sunday, after attending early church, my family and I went to Publix for our weekly couponing extravaganza (more blogs to follow on couponing). Now just in case you did not know, my husband and I consider ourselves coupon gurus, and whereas we do nothing illegal we do stretch the limits of what may or may not be acceptable couponing etiquette. Do we feel guilty? No. Do you realize how much money they are making? Plus, they get paid back for the manufacture coupons and as far as the competitors coupons, well if they did not accept them we would not be shopping there. Anyways....

When we shop we split up our list and our family, so that we are able to go through two different check out lines and, therefore, use more coupons (some Publix stores have policies about only one competitor coupon or one deal per customer). So we enter Publix and give our children the strictest of instructions that if they see the other part of our family they must completely ignore them and not scream across the store "That's my daaaadddddyyyy", as my 3 year old recently did. 

However, on this occasion I actually ended up at the same cashier line that my husband had just moments ago vacated unbeknown to me. I had a raincheck for some items, and the cashier commented that she just had a man with the same raincheck. I thought to myself, "Hmmmmm". Then she saw my Johnsons and Johnsons coupons (which by the way made the product free) and commented that he guy before me had a lot of these too. I thought to myself, "Oh no!" Then she noticed that I was pregnant and she commented that the guy before me was also expecting another baby, but that he has two girls (I had one of the girls with me) and was expecting a third girl. I though to myself, "Oh S@#*!". 

Then she and her elderly bag boy began discussing that I was actually purchasing many of the same items as he did and had many of the same coupons. I thought to myself, "We are totally busted!" The final straw was when she asked me if I knew what the sex of the baby was. I thought to myself, "Lie, lie, lie!!!" And with a face that I am sure was as red as a tomato I said, "They weren't sure. The baby would not cooperate. I guess we will have to find out next time!" (Insert prayer of forgiveness here!)

Finally, I was finished checking out and was about to escape without being bombarded with Publix employees accusing me of some wrong, which is really not wrong at all according to "current" store policy (current because they would probably change it if we were discovered). She printed out my receipt and made a proclamation of my savings "Spent $84 and saved $73", and then added, "That other guy did the exact opposite. He spent $73 and saved $84. Maybe he's still in the parking lot and you can talk to him about how he did it." I though to myself, "Well, no duh. He better still be in the parking lot or I am walking my fat tail home!" And just as I am readying to leave, I have to wrestle my buggy away from elderly bag boy Bob who wants to help unload the bags for me and my pregnant self. That could have definitely proven awkward when my hubby, also known as that couponing guy who was in front of me, jumped out of the car to also help me! Oh what a tangled web we weave;)


Kathy said...

Very funny! I enjoy reading your blogs!

Anonymous said...

Love it! Too funny - and very clever!