Marriage is a Team Sport

Marriage is a Team Sport

After a recent disagreement which resulted in limited and only necessary talking for a 24 hour period, my husband and I had one of those monumental, relationship changing discussion that resulted from my intense frustration over the inability to get through his male genes which seem to prohibit them (the male species) from comprehending anything that we (the females and without a doubt higher species) are saying. When I had finally had enough of the tension, I started a discussion that pretty much got us no where. We each stayed on our own side and refused to see where the other person was coming from. In other words, in our eyes the situation called for a winner and , therefore, a loser.


 Really??? Should there be a loser in a marriage? Are we really supposed to be keeping score? Are injuries or season lows supposed to side line the whole thing? Or worse send it into retirement? (Not Brett Favre's kind of retirement, but the permanent kind---the Big D.)


After all marriage is a lot like a football team. There are many different aspects of a team. Some of the positions get more recognition than others. Some team members get more playing time than others. Some coaches get to call the plays while others have to make sure the plays are executed correctly. And, yes, some times the team falls short of their goal.


But a team is a team because they work together. The reciever isn't mad when the running back scores the touchdown. The offensive lineman throws himself in front of a defensive lineman to protect the quarterback. The defensive back must save a touchdown from being scored by the other team. They must each do their part. And the team would never stay together if each person was constantly telling the other what they were doing wrong, keeping score on who did what job last, or if they did not support, encourage, and have a common goal.


The same is true of a marriage. There are those who cook, do laundry, work in the yard, mow the grass, bathe children... And most of the times these jobs are shared or split up according to preferences. There are also different stars or people doing certain things (changing diapers, folding clothes, feeding munchkins) in a marriage. But to make a marriage work, one can not keep score of who is doing what and when and why. Both must do their part, be there for their teammate and team, and trust their teammate to be there for them.


Yes, every football team has lows in its season. Just like every marriage has times where one or both people think of quitting, but if you can pull together, both making sure you have the same goal (a loving and successful marriage/family) it can work. It can be healed. It can be awesome. You just have to be ready, because at any point in time you can get knocked down by a linebacker, lose a game, or even have a losing season. Then adjustments must be made and every team member must be willing to do so, which is the point that I was trying to make to my teammate during that extremely long car ride.


So strap on your shoulder pads and jock straps and get ready for a wonderful, awful, amazing, frustrating, and loving roller coaster of a ride.That, in retrospect, is totally worth it. Just never forget, "Marriage is a Team (usually full contact) Sport".

Apparently Break=Sickness

Apparently Break=Sickness

One of the major advantages to being a teacher...okay... one of the major reasons for being a teacher are the breaks. Fall, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Winter, Spring, and most importantly Summer! I know you all want to think that we do it all for the kids, and I guess deep down I would have to admit that we do. However, on those days when Dontavious has driven us to the point of quitting and going to say "Welcome to Wal-Mart" the thoughts of those luxurious weeks of vacation make everything ALL better... or at least bearable!


This year however the vacation gods appear to be against us. Over Fall Break, the smallest munchkin was sick with an ear infection. Not fun at all. Pitiful little munchkin makes ones heart break! 


On the first day of Thanksgiving break, I suddenly felt as if my uterus was going to fall out. The pain was atrocious and excruciating! I knew I was not going into labor because the pain was not making my stomach get hard, but I could definitely see where a first timer could think they were going into labor. OMG the pain was horrible! Alas, no need for labor and delivery. It was just a very bad bladder infection. A bladder infection that took half of the break for me to get over. I spent most of it in pain on the couch getting absolutely nothing accomplished and unable to enjoy much of anything. 


Now it is Christmas break. "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year". Well, not for the Hill family. On the first day of the break, we head to Valdosta for Christmas with my mom's side of the family. Munchkin #1 was fine except for an earlier complaint of a headache, however, on the way she turned very pale and upon arrival in my cousin's pristine kitchen she proceed to throw up not once but twice, showering herself, my husband, my sister, and my father with green beans and other varieties of partially digested food. (Oh you think the description is gross. Well, you should have been there, seen it, and then have every mother in the room look accusingly at you!!!). Afterwards, she just seemed tired. Later she ran a little fever, but woke up the next morning fine! 


Alas, all was not as it seemed. The next afternoon the fever returned, but after Tylenol she was fine again or so it seemed. We went over to sister in law's house for dinner (before you look accusingly at me, she knew that munchkin did not feel well and told us to come anyway). After eating, munchkin fell asleep and when she woke up she was on fire! Not just warm, I mean on FIRE! 103.7!!! So off we are today to the doctor and I am sure we are in store for a flu test since it appears there has been an out break. Why oh why have we not gotten flu shots yet????? Well, Brian went and got his! (hmmm just like a man to take care of himself;).


So the moral of my story is that I am not making any big plans for Winter or Spring breaks because in the Hill household Apparently Break=Sickness!

My New Super Power: Magnetism

My New Super Power: Magnetism

So I have developed many super human powers since becoming a mom. I have master the ability to multi task. My kisses have taken on a healing power. My hearing has become ultra sensitive and can immediately detect the pitter patter of little feet. My spit has become a patented house cleaning product and can clean the chocolate (or is that poop) off of a wee munchkin's face. 

The other, less convenient, power that I have developed is that of magnetism. Now before you picture me walking around the house attracting everything that is metal. Let me assure that is not the kind of magnetism I am talking about. Nor am I imagining the helpful kind of magnetism which would attract all misplaced toys, clothes, Cheerios, and that one missing sock to me in order to save me the trouble of bending down and picking said items up for the one 1,000,000th (picture Dr. Evil) time. 

I am alluding to the form of magnetism which occurs at extremely inconvenient times and only attracts the little people in my house. For instance, the phone rings. I answer it. It is my mother. We begin talking....3,2,1 enter munchkin number 1 who just must tell me something extremely important even though she has felt no need to communicate with me whatsoever in the last 45 minutes. I shoo her away and suddenly munchkin number 2 needs her booty wiped. As I continue my conversation whilst wiping her booty, munchkin #1 resumes tapping me repeatedly and my mom can just not understand why in the world I sound like I am snapping.

Another event which seems to draw my children to me like a moth to a flame is any time I enter the bathroom. Now this could be when I am in the shower and they feel the need to come and stand outside of it, just staring or else wanting me to draw Nemo on the shower door. But most of the time they are pulled to me when I am gracing the porcelain throne. No doubt that is the point in time when it is vitally important for them to play peak-a-boo, show me the latest dance move, read me a book, or even come sit on my lap. Trust me, locking the door will not work. Then you are just going to have to get up off the toilet to unlock the door so that the whining and crying will cease. 

The final and most magnetizing event of all is that of ...relations. Have no fear, my husband and I will finally have time to ourselves and I will finally not be too exhausted and the pregame will commence. Now, I assure that at some point in time during the "Game" be it pregame, the main event, or postgame relaxation some little person is going to interrupt. We did get smart and learn to lock the door. We had to after, I am quite sure, we scarred our child for life when she inadvertently witnessed our "wrestling" session. So now we must be super sneaky, super quiet, and super fast or, alas, our twosome will suddenly become an unwelcomed, and quite persistent with the knocking, threesome.

So I have learned to live with my new super power of magnetism. I mean how could I not when it draws such cute little darlings into my arms, even if it is at extremely inconvenient and inappropriate times.