Oh What A Tangled Web We Weave

Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave

Let me start by saying this, "Lying is wrong!" We all know this. We are taught it at a very young age the first time we say, "I didn't do it" when clearly there was no one else who could have or would have colored on the wall. That being said I think we can all agree that there comes a time when one must fib a little. And most of the time I do it with out feeling guilty, but when I had to recently lie to Mary, the sweet, old cashier at Publix, and her elderly gentleman bagger I must admit I felt soooo guilty that I immediately prayed to God for forgiveness. 

So what had happened was (spoke with a ghetto infliction) this:


On Sunday, after attending early church, my family and I went to Publix for our weekly couponing extravaganza (more blogs to follow on couponing). Now just in case you did not know, my husband and I consider ourselves coupon gurus, and whereas we do nothing illegal we do stretch the limits of what may or may not be acceptable couponing etiquette. Do we feel guilty? No. Do you realize how much money they are making? Plus, they get paid back for the manufacture coupons and as far as the competitors coupons, well if they did not accept them we would not be shopping there. Anyways....


When we shop we split up our list and our family, so that we are able to go through two different check out lines and, therefore, use more coupons (some Publix stores have policies about only one competitor coupon or one deal per customer). So we enter Publix and give our children the strictest of instructions that if they see the other part of our family they must completely ignore them and not scream across the store "That's my daaaadddddyyyy", as my 3 year old recently did. 


However, on this occasion I actually ended up at the same cashier line that my husband had just moments ago vacated unbeknown to me. I had a raincheck for some items, and the cashier commented that she just had a man with the same raincheck. I thought to myself, "Hmmmmm". Then she saw my Johnsons and Johnsons coupons (which by the way made the product free) and commented that he guy before me had a lot of these too. I thought to myself, "Oh no!" Then she noticed that I was pregnant and she commented that the guy before me was also expecting another baby, but that he has two girls (I had one of the girls with me) and was expecting a third girl. I though to myself, "Oh S@#*!". 


Then she and her elderly bag boy began discussing that I was actually purchasing many of the same items as he did and had many of the same coupons. I thought to myself, "We are totally busted!" The final straw was when she asked me if I knew what the sex of the baby was. I thought to myself, "Lie, lie, lie!!!" And with a face that I am sure was as red as a tomato I said, "They weren't sure. The baby would not cooperate. I guess we will have to find out next time!" (Insert prayer of forgiveness here!)



Finally, I was finished checking out and was about to escape without being bombarded with Publix employees accusing me of some wrong, which is really not wrong at all according to "current" store policy (current because they would probably change it if we were discovered). She printed out my receipt and made a proclamation of my savings "Spent $84 and saved $73", and then added, "That other guy did the exact opposite. He spent $73 and saved $84. Maybe he's still in the parking lot and you can talk to him about how he did it." I though to myself, "Well, no duh. He better still be in the parking lot or I am walking my fat tail home!" And just as I am readying to leave, I have to wrestle my buggy away from elderly bag boy Bob who wants to help unload the bags for me and my pregnant self. That could have definitely proven awkward when my hubby, also known as that couponing guy who was in front of me, jumped out of the car to also help me! Oh what a tangled web we weave;)

Top 10 Reasons Why I Miss My Husband When He's Gone

Top 10 Reasons Why I Miss My Husband When He's Gone

My hubby and I are rarely away from each other. We just don't go places without the other. He is my best friend and I don't like to be without him. However, there comes a time when we must depart from one another....could be my yearly Bunko trip:)', a coach's clinic, a meeting, a golf tournament, or, like this weekend, a sick parent (I can't believe we are at that point in our lives already). So while he was gone I started thinking about all the ways in which I miss him. Let me count the ways (or count down the ways).


10. Well, who wouldn't miss looking at this face. And the neck down ain't too bad either;) 

Before you think it is just me, I recently sent him to go pick up my oldest from dance (never again) and it was reported to me by several outside sources that you would have thought the Beatles had walked into the dance studio. He was instantly flocked by teeny boppers and as he walked out several sprained necks ensued. 


9. There was no one to go play outside with the girls. Since, I have been pregnant, shockingly, I have become extremely lazy. He is so good about taking them out to play, jumping on the trampoline with them, playing soccer, and in-acting the child laboring.


8. Discipline...did I mention I had become lazy. Not so lazy that I allow my children run rampant causing destruction and disruption to everyone and everything, but my discipline tactics normally take place from the couch, now. 


7. There is no one to look at and laugh when someone says or does something silly or just too cute!


6. I had to get the girls dressed all by myself. I know some of you are saying, "Hey, I do that all the time." Well, so sorry for you. I don't. We are very much like a team (see previous blog.)


5. Damned if I didn't have to bend my big fat belly over that tub to bathe these two munchkins. This feat is becoming more and more difficult and he has started taking over. 


4. The bed time fight it now two against one instead of an even fight. We usually rotate the walking of the little people back to their bedroom, yelling from the couch to go to sleep, getting up and finding items like blankies, doggies, and babies. I ran myself ragged.


3. Laundry- I am sorry for the jealousy that some of you are about to feel, but he does ALL, yes I did say ALL, of the laundry. It was a deal we made when I started back to school for my specialist degree. It is the most wonderful thing ever. Although seeing as school hasn't started back yet this semester, I should probably get up off the couch, stop blogging, and help. 


2. When it comes to weekend mornings, my husband turns from a superhero (reasons described above) to an angel. I have not had to get up with the girls in the morning since I stopped breast feeding my three year old at 8 weeks after birth. He turns on the fan to block noise, shuts the door, and keeps the girls quiet so that I can sleep. Could be that he knows how tired I am and is just being nice, or it could be that he realizes that I am ten times better of a mood when I get to sleep. Oh yeah, I also have a hard time sleeping without him, which makes me even grumpier because I haven't slept and then munchkins wake me up at 6 o'clock in the a.m.


1. I love him. I mean it is as simple as that. I could describe another reason for missing him, but he has forbidden me from discussing this subject any more in my blog (maybe he thinks it makes you all even more jealous;)' But the truth of the matter is that the Top 10 Reasons Why I Miss My Husband When He Is Gone is because, even though there are points in times when I can't stand to be around him;),  I love him and he is my other half and I feel totally lost without him.

I am Drawing the Line

I am Drawing the Line

I told someone today that I wanted to become a freelance writer. And she laughed and said, "What? In all of your free time." And I realized she was right....well, at least partially. I mean I am an extremely busy woman, but what mother isn't. It is not the job or the kids or the husbands (or lack of) that makes us busy or insane. It is all of it rolled into one big some times uncontrollable ball, which drives us control freaks crazy. I mean why else do you think that so many women are on medication now (pregnancy over=Lexipro or Aderall here I come). 


In retrospect, I probably could have a little too much going on. I teach full time. I am currently pursuing my Educational Specialist Degree. I have two young munchkins and am currently serving as a baby making factory for a third. I am our PTO Co-President and also serve as the Special Events Chairperson. I have a Bunko group. I am on the United Way Board. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Not too mention the fact that I live by the philosophy, "If I am going to do this, by God it is going to be the BEST". I will strive to be the best teacher, mother, wife, leader, and parade float maker (even though we were ROBBED this year by receiving first runner up. Sorry my Eastside friends. In case you can't tell, I am still quite bitter.)


My main problem is the ability to say no or for that matter when (especially when it comes to dessert). Temptress-Liz, will you serve as President? Me-Well... Temptress-please you would be awesome. Me-Okay 
Temptress-Please be a part of our adult spelling bee team. Me- I can't spell. Temptress-So it will be fun. Me-Okay. (Seriously? A spelling bee. I couldn't say no to a spelling bee. I SUCK at spelling and obviously I SUCK at saying no).


However, I recently accomplished saying no to someone other than my children, students, and my poor, deprived husband. I was put on a committee at church. One that would regulate the children's activities. One that would require more meetings to fit into my schedule. But finally, I was able to say no. Of course, I did it through e-mail (much easier than face to face or phone. Totally get why people break up through test messages or in Sarah Jessica Parker's case, a post-it) and I had several reasons: 1. I wasn't even asked. 2. I don't have time. 3. I am not even a member of that church. But the point is, I said no. I do feel slightly guilty, but it was time I drew the line. 


Now, let's just hope this line does not get erased by that temptress who understands my need to be in control of things. But I mean it. I am drawing the line. I am saying no.....well....ummm....maybe.