Stupid Extreme Couponing

I am not sure whether you know this or not but I am really into couponing. When I say me, I mean our whole family. My children are trained to look for coupons everywhere: in their cereal boxes, on a wrapper, and especially at the store where they will bowl old ladies over to pull the coupons from the Blinkies. And my husband is surpassing me on deal finding and coupon combining. 


A friend and I are even writing a book about couponing secrets. Of course the book is on hold because, like anything else, we got all pumped about it last year and then other things came up like school, munchkins, college classes, a new business venture, a new baby...basically...LIFE. 


Anyway, when I saw the new show on TLC called Extreme Couponing, I was excited. I could not wait to see how other people did it and learn from "the pros" how to capitalize on my savings. However, after watching the first episode where that woman bought 75 mustards I had a strong sense of dark foreboding. Not only was the show letting everyone in on the secrets (a good thing) it was also showing stores how much money they could be potentially losing (not a good thing). I mean that lady had a total of around $675 and after coupons only paid around $6.





What has now resulted is a total "revamp" of most stores coupon policies...BLAST YOU EXTREME COUPONING.


Let me give you an example. At Publix a box of Cheerios is $4.00. If there is a Buy One Get One deal (a.k.a. BOGO) deal, you can get 2 boxes of Cheerios at $2 each. Then lets say you have a coupon for $1 off of 2. That takes the total for each box down to $1.50. Then you have a Target, Harveys, Dollar General, Family Dollar, Walgreens, Food Lion, Rite Aid or CVS (all of these competitors' coupons were accepted at our Publix) coupon for $1 off one box of Cheerios. You can use 2 of those coupons because the BOGO is considered 2 items. So that brings the total down to $.50 a box. Wow!


However, now with this atrocity which is EXTREME COUPONING, our Publix only accepts Harveys coupons. They do not consider any of the other stores competitors even though they sell the same items. Now I know that looks like only a $2 loss, but if you by 18 boxes of cereal, like I did yesterday, the new policy costs you a savings of $36. That is a huge chunk! 


I mean really Publix! You netted 1.3 billion dollars last year (according to Jamie my Publix bag boy yesterday;) and that was my best year couponing. So I really don't think your company is hurting all that much. I mean in the great metropolis of Tallahassee there is a dad gum Publix on every corner. I don't think these uncertain economic times are really affecting you all that much.


Anyway, even with the new coupon policy I didn't do to shabby yesterday on my first Publix trip since giving birth a month a go. That being said I did make some rookie mistakes that cost me some savings: 1. I did not print the circular before going, 2. I did not make my list until I got there, 3. I was unable to look for coupons on the items I was purchasing and print them before I left the house, 4. I did not have my coupons organized before getting to the store. As a result of all of these mistakes, I did not save as much as I could have, it took me forever, and there were different points in the store where I broke into a sweat and almost had an anxiety attack because I was having to force my ADHD self to focus. 


So how did I do? Well with all that I spent $118 and saved $129. It is always good when your savings are higher than what you spent. That is your goal. What did I buy? Well...
18 boxes of assorted varieties of Cheerios and Fruit Loops (I am not wasteful we will eat that before summer is up)
12 boxes of Betty Crocker Fruit Chews
2 Kid Shampoos
2 Body Washes
2 cans of biscuits
2 blocks of Cream Cheese
2 packages of Buitonni Ravioli
3 cans of Chef Boyardee Ravioli
2 Dijorno Pizzas w/cookies
4 cans of Campbells soup
1 Bicardi Mixer
1 Whisk Detergent
6 cans of Hormel Chicken
2 packs of Oscar Meyer Deli Ham
2 bottles of Coffee Mate
4 bags of Doritos
Bananas
Blueberries
Vidalia Onions
Granny Smith Apples
Corn on the Cobb


Not half bad! But it could have been sooooooo muuuuuccccchhhh better if it wasn't for that stupid, spawn of Satan Extreme Couponing show!

Heaven Forbid if There is a Real Emergency

Picture it: Cairo...2011


I have just dropped my oldest off at dance (wow how nice it is when they are old enough to be dropped off!). The middle child and I are leaving and heading to our local dance shop to spend a small fortune to ready ourselves for our upcoming recital. I stop at the red light and wait. 


Finally, it turns green, but as I begin to push the gas pedal I notice a tiny puff of smoke come of the top of the transformer beside the red light. Needless to say, the red light went kaput. I proceeded forward by following the rule of four way stop, which any good driver learns about in driving class...or those of us who are not good drivers learn from almost wrecks or impending tickets!


Any who...I continue over the over pass that goes over the railroad tracks only to be met on the other side by another non working red light, but some of these drivers have obviously never taken driver's ed or gotten a ticket or almost gotten a wreck (although I see that happening in their future), because this red light was almost in pandemonium. By pandemonium, I clearly mean (seeing as we are in Cairo, GA) that there were four cars trying to figure out who should go and when. 


So after finally being getting through the stop light, I did what any good citizen and girl who loves drama would do: I dialed 911 to let them know about the power outage. Here is the conversation that followed:


Operator: Grady County 911
Me: Yes I wanted to report that the red lights on 5th street are not working

Operator: Red lights where?

Me: On fifth street

Operator: Where are you on fifth street

Me: I am at the over pass

Operator: Which over pass?

Me: (here is where I start worrying about our county's emergency system) The over pass on 5th 

****Let me interject at this point that there is only one, let me repeat, one over pass in all of Cairo.

Operator: Well...are you on east or west

Me: um....I don't know....I am on the over pass near the high school.

Operator: Which high school?

Me: (SERIOUSLY) Cairo High School (The only high school in Cairo!!!!!!!!)

Operator: Okay, we will dispatch someone

Me: Thank you

After leaving the store, I head home and come to where 5th street intersects with highway 84 (the major road in this small town), and there is still no one at the red lights! I do not blame the police...they probably couldn't figure out where they were being sent due to the lack of clear directions coming across the radio!

Now I am sorry if you are that 911 operator or if she is your sister or aunt or whoever but COME ON. What if I was injured? Or in a wreck? Or being robbed? Or on fire? Heaven forbid if there is a real emergency, because they will never be able to find me!!!

Breast May Be Best, But Sanity is Better

So I am now in my 4th week of breast feeding, and it is going pretty well. We have had some difficulty. One, she was not gaining weight initially so I had to feed her every 2 hours for a few days. Which in non-mom terms means pretty much around the clock!


How you might ask? Well...let's say you start feeding at 8 a.m. You will feed for at least 45 minutes to an hour. Then an hour later, you start all over again! Which, to help my little one gain weight, was well worth the sacrifice of sleep and any time to myself as well as any feeling in my nipples!!


Second, it appeared I still did not satisfy her. Which is quite odd, because when I pump it results in enough milk to feed a small African nation. But who knows? I mean, I am not a breast milk connoisseur. Perhaps, my variety was not from a good year and is not quite quenching or filling enough. Perhaps it needs to ferment a little more. So we started giving her 2 ounces of formula after every feeding resulting in not only having to heal nipples but also having to put them in the dishwasher.

Third, those explosive breast milk poopies are now hurting my darling's bottom. This happened with my second child. It appears that my milk is somewhat acidic and seeing as breast fed babies have extremely liquid poops the liquid tends to eat at that precious, tender, and soft skinned booty. Seriously, her diaper rash went from nonexistent to bleeding. We have special cream and all (our pharmasist has super powers), but as long as I am breast feeding it is not going to get any better. This is why I stopped breast feeding my second child after a month and within 2 days her bottom was good again.

So I have made the decision to give up breast feeding. Now, I must admit that besides all of the reasons I have stated above the most important (and perhaps selfish) reason is that I just do not enjoy breast feeding. Yes, I know it is the best. It is better for her. And I know it is good for me...best diet ever seeing as I have lost over 25 pounds in 3 weeks. I know it is supposed to be all wonderful and all, but for me it is not.

I don't like being the only one to be able to feed her. I don't do good on little or no sleep (best thing I have done so far is let my husband take over the middle of the night feeding). I don't like the time it takes away from my other munchkins. At least, if I am doing a bottle someone else can do it and I can go read a book with the girls or help them with their homework. I don't like having to hide in a backroom or in the car when we are out while keeping a watch out for perverts in other cars. I  hate that I feel like a cow and that I can't get out of the shower with out getting milk every where. And I honestly don't feel all that comfortable doing it. I despise the let down feeling...it makes me feel....I don't know...weird!

I don't need to be bombarded with comments and e-mails about how wonderful it is and it gets better after the first couple of months! This is my third child, and I know how good breast milk is. I have a freaking education and I read like there is no tomorrow. I am even considered by some to be the utmost authority on all things pregnancy and baby. I have seen similar posts from people declaring that hate breastfeeding only to be harrassed by seemingly helpful mothers who are encouraging them not to give up and that it will get better and to do it for their baby.  One thing I know is that you can't be a good mother if you are losing your mind. So if you are from the La Leche League BACK OFF! There are just many geniuses out there that were formula fed as there are that were breast fed. And my oldest got breast milk longer than any of my kids and was the sickest of all for the first 5 years of her life!

So my conlusion is...where as I know that the breast is best, I also know that my sanity is better. Not just for me, but for my 3 girls and my husband (who had started to look at me with that "Oh My Gosh! When is it coming...When is she going to totally lose it?" look.

There I feel better now!