Welcome to the fabulous and sometimes insane life
of a working mother who is trying hard not to
let her whole existence be determined by her
cute little munchkins, yet continues to be drawn
in by the adorable and sometimes annoying tiny people!

Friday, October 21, 2011

My How Times Have Changed

Tonight it is just me and the girls. My husband had an away football game, so I thought we would have a movie night. We had a pizza picnic in the middle of the living room and watched one of my favorite Halloween movies, Hocus Pocus. I found it in the Red Box rental thingy at Wal-Mart. I had not seen it anywhere in so long and I knew the girls would like it and they are enjoying it completely. They are thoroughly enamored with it.

What I had forgotten is how many curse words are in it. Bette Middler's "Damn, damn, double damn!" certainly through me for a loop. Not to mention Sarah Jessica Parker's endless sexual innuendos. And the countless discussions about the virgin who lit the black flame candle. I am just waiting for one of them to ask, "Mama, what is a virgin?" Now I am quite open with my children but that is one I am not quite ready for. I also was not quite prepared for how scared they were. When it was done they both just looked at me. I asked them if they didn't like it? They said it was so scary. Of course 2 minutes later, my youngest asked "Can we watch it again?"

You know this is like all of the great movies I enjoyed during my childhood. One of my favorite movies ever was The Goonies. I loved Mikey and Mouth and Chunk and Andy and the whole gang. I mean what a great adventure movie. My sister and I rented it almost every weekend from the only video store in town and took it home in a blue vinyl box (blue for PG). However, have you watched it lately? I mean, Chunk yells out "S--t" in the first 2 minutes of the movie and it is repeated many times a longs with many damns and a few hells thrown in for good measure. Then there is the dead body that keeps `popping up everywhere and the fact that escaped convicts are constantly trying to kill them.

And then there is my most favorite movie of all time, GREASE! It is so awesome and has the most amazing music. My sister and I had numerous musical numbers that we performed in our living room choreographed to the almost exact sequence of Sandy, Danny, the Pink Ladies and the T-Birds. But seriously, have you watched it since you crossed into adulthood. OMG! What was my mother thinking? First there's the whole sex thing, what with the Kenickie's "$0.75 insurance policy" aka condom that breaks. Rizzo possibly knocked up the whole time, and the constant making out.

Then there are the songs...the wonderful songs...the wonderful and, now I realize, dirty, dirty songs:

"You know that ain't shit when we'll be gettin' lots of tit in greased lightnin'"
"You know that I ain't braggin', she's a real p---y wagon - greased lightnin"
"As for you Troy Donahue, I know what you wanna do. You got your crust I'm no object of lust I'm just plain Sandra Dee"
"She swam by me, she got a cramp. He ran by me, got my suit damp"
" He got friendly, holding my hand. While she got friendly down in the sand."

I don't know if my mom didn't watch these movies with us, or if she just knew it all would go over our heads like it did. I know that if you don't make a big deal of things kids, normally, won't pick up on it. But it is so funny how now I will defintely think twice about watching some of my favorite childhood memories with my children. My how times have changed!



Sunday, October 16, 2011

Totally Counts

As someone who completely despises exercise and thinks that anyone who likes to do it is crazy and glutton for punishment, I try to find things that Totally Count as exercise. Now please be forewarned. This could be controversial, yet it makes me and, hopefully, the millions of other lazy people out there feel better about ourselves and our lack of physical activity.

Here is my list of things that totally count as working out:

1. Putting on work out clothes totally counts as working out. Just the thought and effort it takes to wiggle into that sports bra as
my head gets caught in it with my arms and boobs sticking out totally counts as exercise. Hey! That takes a lot of effort and apparently brings
about a lot of laughing when my children or husband come in and see me stumbling around trying to get the sports bra down!

2. Driving past the gym. Okay you might not have realized you were going that way, but you suddenly find yourself driving past the gym. This
totally counts as working out. I mean, it takes effort to drive pass the gym and not stop (bahahaha). Plus, if you are still wearing your work out gear it counts double.



3. Going to Wal-Mart in your work out clothes totally counts as working out. You can up this work out by parking further out in the parking lot,
speed walking as you stock your cart, and loading and unloading your groceries. And if you are fighting with your children the whole time about
what you will and will not add to your cart then you are totally burning more calories!

4. Wearing Shape Up or Tone Up shoes totally count as working out.
I know the first week I had my Sketcher Tone Ups my thighs and bum hurt just from wearing them to work. So if wearing these shoes causes me to be sore and hurt then I quite sure that it totally counts as working out!

5. Having sex totally counts as working out. Not only is it a proven calorie burner, but the effort it takes just to get started is a serious work out. I am not being dirty here and talking about foreplay. I am talking about how exhausted and stressed out you are, and how the thought of doing anything else is the last thing on your mind. We all know what it is like to be a mother. It is not that you don't want to because you do. It is just that it takes so much effort and so much energy of which you have very little. So when you have it, it totally counts!

So am I advocating not exercising? No! You can't lose weight without exercising, and I am all about trying to lose weight. But it is good to know some things totally count as working out....even if it is only in my mind!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

"Cruisin' is Made for Love"

Last March, my hubby and I celebrated our ten year anniversary. We were planning on going somewhere to celebrate. Alas, someone, namely me, was quite large and pregnant. So needless to say, the only place we went was to home in Cairo, Georgia. Not quite the romantic getaway we had been dreaming about. Although, I would not have changed it for the world.

So since the arrival of Lady A, aka Alden, in May we have been looking to go somewhere. If only for just a few days, so we can sleep completely through the night and catch up on our zzzzzz's. Every time Groupon sends out their getaway e-mails, we comb through the deals trying to decide which deal will get us the most bang for our buck.

We were looking at all inclusive places in a tropical location. The thought of going to a place where everything is paid for is extremely appealing. However, neither one of us drink a whole lot, so we were unsure if we would really get our money's worth. Plus, then you have to add the cost of plane tickets. And lets not forget, the whole thought of flying, which is petrifying for both of us.

After much thought, we starting looking at cruises. I don't even really remember how it came about. I have never been on a cruise and the last time Brian went was on his senior cruise in high school. It is something we have been talking about even before we had children but have just never done.

So last weekend, we perused every cruise deal available. We decided the week before Christmas was best because of babysitters and school and, most importantly, cost. It is one of the cheapest time to cruise. We were extremely overwhelmed with all of our choices: boats, cruise lines, destinations, activities, amenities, ports, cost...it was a lot!

We settled on a Royal Caribbean cruise going to Grand Cayman and Cozumel, Mexico. I am super excited!! I have wanted to go to Grand Cayman ever since first watching The Firm (isn't it funny how movies can do that to you!). I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. Every time I think about it I get butterflies in my stomach.

We have not been anywhere by ourselves since out honeymoon. We need this! We deserve this!

After all in the words of Smokey Robinson:
Your gonna fly away, glad your going my way
I love it when we're cruisin' together
The music is playing for love
Cruisin' is made for love
I love it when we're cruisin' together!