Where Did My Angel Go!

For the last 6 months my husband and I have counted ourselves lucky. We relished in the peacefulness of having a perfectly content baby. Now, I am not saying she never fusses or cries. She does. However, she only cries when she is hungry or when that dirty diaper has gone unnoticed. Whenever she starts to fuss, it is because she is tired of the bouncy seat or tired of the exer-saucer or tired of rolling around on the floor or just plain tired.

Now granted, she is by far not a perfect baby. She still does not sleep through the night. We haven't fed her at night since she was 10 weeks old but she still wakes up at least once wanting her pacifier. In fact, I would only need one hand and for that matter only a couple of fingers to count the number of times she has slept completely through the night.

My other 2 girls both slept through the night at 6 weeks. Of course the second one took forever to get on a schedule and whereas she slept through the night it took forever for her to actually go to sleep, and we finally had to "Ferberize" her, which was absolutely miserable but worked. Once it was done she was the happiest baby. That is until 1. My first child slept perfectly but was colicky and had a witching hour that lasted from 4-8 for the first 12 weeks. The only thing that made her happy was for me to dance around with her (needless, to say I lost a little weight). I guess you take the good with the bad. The oldest child has turned into the most easy going kid while the second one is all me: dramatic, dynamic, and drumming for attention.

But now this perfectly content baby has morphed into a perfectly pissed off baby. She does fine at the sitter's but when we get home nothing satisfies her: not the exer-saucer, not the bouncy seat, not the floor, not her bed, not even her pacifier! I have to carry her around the whole time. I feel as if I am going back in time to that witching hour with my first child. I thought we were past all of this. I thought the first eight weeks were the worst.

Now granted, she does have a runny nose. So I am sure she does not feel good. Bless her heart. She also is at that point where she is ready to give up the late afternoon nap but can't quite make it yet. Again, bless her heart. All of this makes her very, very, very unhappy. BLESS MY HEART!

So we are humidifying and suctioning and vapor rubbing on feet and feeding earlier and bathing earlier and going to bed earlier, but the transition is about to kill me. My husband received the following text from me while he was on the football field today, "I can't take much more of this...I MEAN IT!"

All I have to say is: Thank the Lord for older children who can bathe themselves.. Thank the Lord for a husband who leaves his job and comes home early. Thank the Lord for a sister-in-law who is watching all three children along with her own so that I can have a break tomorrow afternoon, even if it is at the doctor's office. And thank the Lord for Zoloft, because without that "sweet nectar of life" the question of Where did my angel go? would have sent me over the edge!

My How Times Have Changed

Tonight it is just me and the girls. My husband had an away football game, so I thought we would have a movie night. We had a pizza picnic in the middle of the living room and watched one of my favorite Halloween movies, Hocus Pocus. I found it in the Red Box rental thingy at Wal-Mart. I had not seen it anywhere in so long and I knew the girls would like it and they are enjoying it completely. They are thoroughly enamored with it.

What I had forgotten is how many curse words are in it. Bette Middler's "Damn, damn, double damn!" certainly through me for a loop. Not to mention Sarah Jessica Parker's endless sexual innuendos. And the countless discussions about the virgin who lit the black flame candle. I am just waiting for one of them to ask, "Mama, what is a virgin?" Now I am quite open with my children but that is one I am not quite ready for. I also was not quite prepared for how scared they were. When it was done they both just looked at me. I asked them if they didn't like it? They said it was so scary. Of course 2 minutes later, my youngest asked "Can we watch it again?"

You know this is like all of the great movies I enjoyed during my childhood. One of my favorite movies ever was The Goonies. I loved Mikey and Mouth and Chunk and Andy and the whole gang. I mean what a great adventure movie. My sister and I rented it almost every weekend from the only video store in town and took it home in a blue vinyl box (blue for PG). However, have you watched it lately? I mean, Chunk yells out "S--t" in the first 2 minutes of the movie and it is repeated many times a longs with many damns and a few hells thrown in for good measure. Then there is the dead body that keeps `popping up everywhere and the fact that escaped convicts are constantly trying to kill them.

And then there is my most favorite movie of all time, GREASE! It is so awesome and has the most amazing music. My sister and I had numerous musical numbers that we performed in our living room choreographed to the almost exact sequence of Sandy, Danny, the Pink Ladies and the T-Birds. But seriously, have you watched it since you crossed into adulthood. OMG! What was my mother thinking? First there's the whole sex thing, what with the Kenickie's "$0.75 insurance policy" aka condom that breaks. Rizzo possibly knocked up the whole time, and the constant making out.

Then there are the songs...the wonderful songs...the wonderful and, now I realize, dirty, dirty songs:

"You know that ain't shit when we'll be gettin' lots of tit in greased lightnin'"

"You know that I ain't braggin', she's a real p---y wagon - greased lightnin"
"As for you Troy Donahue, I know what you wanna do. You got your crust I'm no object of lust I'm just plain Sandra Dee"
"She swam by me, she got a cramp. He ran by me, got my suit damp"
" He got friendly, holding my hand. While she got friendly down in the sand."

I don't know if my mom didn't watch these movies with us, or if she just knew it all would go over our heads like it did. I know that if you don't make a big deal of things kids, normally, won't pick up on it. But it is so funny how now I will defintely think twice about watching some of my favorite childhood memories with my children. My how times have changed!

Totally Counts

As someone who completely despises exercise and thinks that anyone who likes to do it is crazy and glutton for punishment, I try to find things that Totally Count as exercise. Now please be forewarned. This could be controversial, yet it makes me and, hopefully, the millions of other lazy people out there feel better about ourselves and our lack of physical activity.

Here is my list of things that totally count as working out:

1. Putting on work out clothes totally counts as working out. Just the thought and effort it takes to wiggle into that sports bra as

my head gets caught in it with my arms and boobs sticking out totally counts as exercise. Hey! That takes a lot of effort and apparently brings
about a lot of laughing when my children or husband come in and see me stumbling around trying to get the sports bra down!

2. Driving past the gym. Okay you might not have realized you were going that way, but you suddenly find yourself driving past the gym. This

totally counts as working out. I mean, it takes effort to drive pass the gym and not stop (bahahaha). Plus, if you are still wearing your work out gear it counts double.



3. Going to Wal-Mart in your work out clothes totally counts as working out. You can up this work out by parking further out in the parking lot,

speed walking as you stock your cart, and loading and unloading your groceries. And if you are fighting with your children the whole time about
what you will and will not add to your cart then you are totally burning more calories!

4. Wearing Shape Up or Tone Up shoes totally count as working out.

I know the first week I had my Sketcher Tone Ups my thighs and bum hurt just from wearing them to work. So if wearing these shoes causes me to be sore and hurt then I quite sure that it totally counts as working out!

5. Having sex totally counts as working out. Not only is it a proven calorie burner, but the effort it takes just to get started is a serious work out. I am not being dirty here and talking about foreplay. I am talking about how exhausted and stressed out you are, and how the thought of doing anything else is the last thing on your mind. We all know what it is like to be a mother. It is not that you don't want to because you do. It is just that it takes so much effort and so much energy of which you have very little. So when you have it, it totally counts!

So am I advocating not exercising? No! You can't lose weight without exercising, and I am all about trying to lose weight. But it is good to know some things totally count as working out....even if it is only in my mind!