Man-i-tis-(noun) the state in which a man behaves extremely sickly almost to the point of death but is in fact only inflicted with a mild case of something, like the common cold or stomach virus or even a headache.
Man-i-tis is something that all women with significant others (that are men) are quite familiar with. It happens every time our big, strong men get sick. They are suddenly on death's doorstep and require much babying, love, and exemption from all household chores/parenting activities. It doesn't matter whether or not we (the women) have just been inflicted with the same sickness during which we continue on with our lives as normally while "sucking it up" because we don't have time to succumb to the bed like we desire, they will be soooooo sick.
I know that you (women) know exactly to what I am referring and are probably standing whilst applauding in agreement. However, I am quite certain that upon reading this every man I know is shaking his fist at me in disgruntlement for drawing attention to this ploy of sickness. But man-i-tis is a true infliction, one that most every woman in America has experienced at some point in time.
My man has it so bad that he could be standing next to a woman that feels nauseated, and he will suddenly start feeling queasy. It won't matter that the woman was in fact pregnant and was nauseated because she smelled something that offended her pregnant self. He will still come down with the stomach virus and be down for the count for at least 24 hours.
So you can imagine what I thought when 2 weeks ago my husband started complaining of being achy all over after hearing about several children at school who had tested positive for the flu. He felt well enough to go play golf and convinced me even more that he was only infected with man-i-tis. When he got home from the course, however, he went straight to bed.
By Monday, I realize is probably a little more than man-i-tis. I make him go to the doctor where he tests positive for the flu. The FOR REAL FLU...in May...seriously?!?! Wednesday it is even worse when it should be getting better. He heads back to the doctor for a steroid shot and x-rays. X-rays which reveal his flu has now turned into pneumonia! OMG!
I feel like a huge jerk!! My big, strong man is sick, really, really sick! He undergoes antibiotics, steroids, and breathing treatments 24/7. I split my time between my girls at home and being with him at the hospital. Thank goodness for help from my family or I truly might have gone off the deep end.
Finally, on Friday, he was released. He is still sick and weak, but at least he is home and slowly recovering. It will take a while for him to get back his strength, and his lung may always cause him to be a little short of breath. It is definitely not going to be the fun, productive summer that we thought it would be.
I did learn one thing: Man-i-tis is a pain to deal with but it is 10,000 times better than seeing your big, strong man beat down with pneumonia. As much as I complain about it, I will take man-i-tis any day!