Shrimp & Mushroom Linguine

Ingredients:
1-2 pounds of shrimp (peeled and with tails off)
1 box linguine
1 package sliced mushrooms
2-3 cloves of garlic, pressed
(I actually use much more. I love garlic. Hoping it won't keep Edward away)
2 sticks of butter (oh shut up! It will be okay this once!)
lemon juice
1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese

Melt butter in large pan. Saute garlic (yummy smelling) for about 5 minutes. Throw in mushrooms and let them cook down. Meanwhile, cook linguine as the box instructs. Add lemon juice to mushrooms amount is up to your liking. I usually do 1/4 of a cup. After mushrooms have cooked down, add shrimp and cook only until they turn pink and start to curl. Stir in Parmesan cheese. Serve over linguine.

The End is Near

Every Saturday morning, my husband lets me sleep late. He rises with the sun, any roosters around, and all three of my munchkins and allows me to snooze it up until my little heart is content. Sometimes this is only until 8, but many times it stretches to 9 and sometimes (gasp) 10. Have no fear, I know I am lucky.

When I finally do emerge from my slumber I eat my bowl of cereal (this morning they were the extremely healthy Fruit Loops), fix my cup of coffee, and blog hop for a while. This "while" sometimes stretches into a couple of hours seeing as I just love visiting and comment on all of y'all's fantabulous blogs!

This morning I called my husband over to share a couple of blogs with him. (One was Gina With Love, which was soooo true and funny.) After reading the third blog and realizing I had been enjoying my bloggy session for over an hour, he proclaimed, "You have a problem!"

And he was right. He was not referring to my grey hair, which is certainly a problem that needs to be dealt with. Nor was he referring to my problem of trying to lose weight, which I am currently working on. He was referring to my "Every Thing Blog" addiction. And I am woman enough to admit it:

Hello! My name is Liz, and I am addicted to blogging!

Seriously! I love everything having to do with blogging. Two weeks ago I spent over 4 hours trying to figure out how to redesign my blog. I am constantly adding gadgets and learning how to add other tidbits of fun. Everyday I check in with my dashboard eager to open new blogs posted by my peeps and with as much anticipation as a kid opening presents. I have even become addicted to VoiceBoks, a phenomenal website dedicated to mommy bloggers.


Each night, when I finally sit down after teaching third graders, gymnastics, dance, homework, laundry, cooking, fixing lunch for the next day, picking out clothes, mediating fights, changing diapers, giving bottles, bathing children, etc., I dive into my blog eager to see who has visited during the day. I almost get so sucked in that it is difficult to climb out of what I can only describe as a bloggy black hole.

I know I should be doing other things: more laundry, unloading the dishwasher, grading papers, working on lesson plans, doing college work. I blog all the while feeling guilty. Guilty because I think about what I SHOULD be doing. Especially, my class work for college.

I am getting my Educational Specialist right now. I have been going to school for the last 3 years, and now I have one semester left. This is it. Soon I will be free. Soon I will get a major pay increase. Soon I will be considered smarter. Soon...soon...soon I will be able to blog guilt free because I won't be thinking about the classwork I should be doing instead of blogging. The End is Near...for now I better go and work on my next assignment!

Slippin' and Slidin'

This morning as my feet pounded the pavement and Lady Gaga sang about being "Born This Way" in my ear I was having a serious runner's high. (I use the term "runner" lightly seeing as right now the majority of my "run" is spent walking. I am building up to it though!) Anyway, I was super excited because today was "Weigh In Wednesday" and I could not wait to see how much my hard work had paid off.

Alas, my high came crashing down as I stepped onto the scale and those blasted, evil, spawn of Satan numbers appeared on the screen. I gained a pound!! Seriously??? I gained a pound?

WTF!!! I have worked my tail off. I have starved myself. I have drowned my thirst with enough water to fill a bathtub every day (be it a baby one;). The point is, WTF!!! How can this be?

Well, I guess it could be Saturday. My brother-in-law's birthday was this past weekend and there was a gathering. As you know, gatherings include food and cold beverages, both of which made their way into my belly. I have a thing for snacky dips and appetizers. Sometimes I would rather eat that than a meal. And I never fix a plate, like I know I should. If I fixed a plate, it would probably keep me from gorging myself to the point of misery. Honestly...I blame my brother-in-law. I mean, how dare he have a birthday party! Especially while I am trying to lose weight!

But I think what upset me the most this morning was the fact that I actually FEEL thinner. My husband commented a couple of days ago about how much flatter my tummy looked (and no I don't think he was trying to get some). I noticed less cellulite as I scrutinized my body in the mirror (and no I did not have my contacts out). And one of my coworkers squeezed my arm yesterday and told me how "skinny" I looked (and no I had not just flexed. That is just laughable).

But the one thing that had me absolutely convinced that I had lost weight was that my thighs were now Slipin' and Slidin'. Maybe you don't know what I mean, but normally my thighs are shoved so close together due to the extra weight that when I walk they never actually come a part. They just stay stuck together, never even having enough room to move in order to even rub against each other. It is much like they are one united being. But lately I have noticed that not only are they moving, but they are sliding right past each other with ease. This leads me to believe that although I have not lost pounds this week, I am definitely losing inches.

So over the next week I am going to continue "running" (I am walking 2 minutes and running 1 minute right now). I am going to eat even less and drink even more water. I am going to avoid birthday parties and gatherings where there are plethoras of yummy morsels that threaten to ruin my goals. And I am going to keep my thighs slipin' and slidin' in the hopes that soon I will have lost so much weight that they don't touch at all:)'

It's Never Okay to Hit...Or Is It

My two oldest girls are alike in so many ways. Their personalities are much more like mine than my husband's. They are dynamically verbal (i.e. won't shut up), dramatic (we are constantly being entertained), and smart (well OF COURSE that came from me;).

However, as alike as they are, they are also extremely different. Aubrey is much more laid back. While Addison thinks the world is going to end just because she doesn't get dessert. Aubrey is the typical first child and eager to please. While Addison's philosophy is "Here I am like it or not"! Aubrey avoids controversy. While Addison creates it. You get the picture (Aubrey is on the left on her knees and Addison is on the right).

With that being said, it is amazing how well they get along. They rarely fight and when they do the punishment of having to be away from each other is almost too much to bare. Although there are times in which I feel the need to call in a referee to blow the whistle and stop the play due to a foul.

Said foul occurred today: an illegal hit! The girls were playing with the big Lego blocks (best buy ever)and they began to argue about how to build the house. When Addison said she wanted to do it a certain way, Aubrey informed her "too bad", which is shocking because Aubrey pretty much does whatever Addison wants. This would be the point when Addison pretty much told her who was boss by slapping her across the face.

Aubrey rushed into the bathroom to tell me, which is indicative of what happens every time I am in the bathroom (see previous post on my super power of magnetism). I called Addison to me and told her it was never okay to hit and that she needed to go sit in time out, at which time she informed me that she had already put herself in time out and had been sitting there when I called her into the bathroom:)

So when I told my husband about the incident he just shook his head. Then he made a shocking proclamation, "Maybe we should just tell Aubrey to hit her back. I mean, she is the bigger sister maybe it is time she stood up for herself. If she would just knock Addison to the ground one good time, maybe Addison would learn her lesson". We thought about it for a moment and then remembered another time when we told Addison to hit back.

They were 2 and 4, and Addison had jerked something away from her sister. When Aubrey grabbed for it, Addison pushed her. Aubrey started crying, and we were so tired of it that we (unwisely now in retrospect) told her to hit her back. Of course she was so scared of hurting her little sister that she barely grazed the other munchkin's arm. That is when Addison drew back and scratched her across the face. As horrible as it was and as we felt, we could not help but giggle behind our hands as we disciplined Addison.

So now here we are again. Tempted to teach one child a lesson by using the other one. The lesson:It is Never Okay to Hit...Or Is It? There could possibly be a time when it is okay. However, given how feisty Addison is and how accurate she is with her left hook, it might definitely be unwise.

It's Inevitable

We started school last Friday. I know! It is early, but on the upside we get out half way through May. I personally like it better because football season has already started and we can't go any where any way and it is so freaking hot I would just rather be indoors. May is such a nicer time to be outside.

Anyway, it's inevitable that at some point in time during the first month of school my household is going to get sick. Usually by the end of the first month I am so hoarse I can barely talk. I mean, how can you not get sick what with all of the germs flying around an elementary school on any given day. So, my oldest started first. On Monday she woke up sneezing and with a runny nose. Gave her some Benedryl...in retrospect probably should not have given her the full dose due to the fact that she was heading to school. Needless to say, she was pretty out of it for the majority of the day. Went and got some Claritin after school.

On Thursday when I picked my tiniest munchkin up from the sitter she informed me that my darling's nose had been running all day and she had a hard time sucking on her bottle. Hmmmm...sounds like an ear infection to me. Of course, that was inevitable too seeing as both of the other girls had tubes before they were 18 months. In fact my middle child was so fraught with ear infections that she had tubes before she was one! Luckily, my mother-in-law was coming to keep her the next day and was able to take her to the doctor...enter first ever round of antibiotics at the rip old age of 14 weeks!

Now if two of your three tiny people are sick it's inevitable that the third is soon to follow. The first indication was when she came into our room at 2:45 this morning saying she couldn't sleep. The second indication was the rasping coughing that ensued this morning. And finally, the 100.6 degree fever that she woke up from her nap with. Seriously!!! Well, I guess it is good it is the weekend.

Now my husband and I just need to wait for our turn. I mean, it's inevitable...right?

Hot Pineapple Casserole

Here is one of my munchkins' favorite side dishes. It is oh so yummy!

Hot Pineapple casserole

Ingredients:
2 cans of pineapple chunks (drain one completely and drain the other only half way)
3 T of all purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup grated sharp cheddar cheese
1/2 sleeve of Ritz crackers, crushed
1/2 stick butter melted (I leave this out a lot)

Place pineapple and juice in a 2 quart dish. Mix flour and sugar together in a separate bowl and then sprinkle over pineapple. Sprinkle cheese on top. Top with cracker crumbs and drizzle butter over top. Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes.

It is so good that I normally have to double it!

And We're Off

So if you read my previous blog you know that the time has come for me to get serious about losing weight. My main motivation. . . fitting into my jeans. Every Friday is dress down day at school, and I can't dress down because my jeans won't zip even with the age old lying down and using pliers trick!! It has time for me to get serious about losing weight.

A few weeks ago I started monitoring what I eat. . . kind of. I have a hard time with sweets and things that are salty and bread . . . and . . . pretty much all food. I do love it so! But I, at least, started limiting my portions.

It is hard to train your stomach to eat less, especially when you have just finished being pregnant and are used to eating large portions. One of the most important ways I do this is by using a salad plate at meal times instead of a regular sized plate. This forces me to get smaller portions and even if I go back for seconds I still only end up eating what would have equaled a regular size plate. This way I almost feel like I am getting more to eat!

I am also trying to eat slower, which is definitely hard with a baby because you have to shove everything into your mouth just to make sure you have time to eat. I am also eating all of my vegetables before anything else in order to feel up on the items that are better for me. Two other things that are
proving successful:
1. Drink a full glass of water before I start to eat.

2. When I am finished with my plate and think I want more I drink another full glass of water. If I still want it then I get some more.

And finally I started exercising this week. This is a BIG deal! I hate to exercise. I mean absolutely despise it. I think people who love to exercise are stupid and just have some innate desire to torture themselves. I hate to sweat. I hate to get up earlier at 5:30 in the A.M. (which I have to do because of the kids). But most of all I HATE to do anything that is hard for me and makes me feel like I can't do it well, and exercise is soooooooo hard for me. Especially running which is the kind of exercise I must do in order to really do some damage to this flab.

So how is it going? Well I weighed in last Wednesday at 155.2. This morning before I weighed I felt quite certain I had gained weight. I mean, it just looked like it to me, but lo and behold I weighed in at 151.3. That is almost a four pound loss! I am pumped, inspired, and finally motivated. I am working and it is working. "And We're Off" (as they say) on this adventure to a healthier, thinner, toner, and happier me, who can fit in her jeans again!!

This is Serious

Well it is one hundred and fifty million degrees down here in south Georgia. I know it is hot everywhere but with our blasted humidity the air is so heavy that you literally feel like you are suffocating when you walk outside. Because it is so hot, it is hard to think about cooler weather but it is coming and it won't be too long.That means it will soon be jean weather, which is not good.

Why? You may ask. Well the reason is simple . . . I can't fit into any of my jeans. There! I said it. I have been enjoying the luxury of wearing flowing summer dresses for the last 6 months and soon that luxury will be ripped from my slightly chubby, water retaining fingers.

Don't get me wrong! I love jeans. I love how my bum looks in them (it is one of my best "ass"ets). I love the cute little tops I can wear with them. I love wearing boots over my skinny jeans. And I love, I love, I love the that wonderful feeling of exhilaration when I can zip up my "skinny" jeans (even if it does involve lying down, a pair of pliers, and some lunges).

The problem is that I quite literally can not get any of mine to come with in five inches of zipping. I know I just had a baby 3 months ago, and I would not trade that experience with the world. Nor would I change the fact that I ate everything in sight, because let's face it that is the only time in our lives where we are finally able to stop looking at the scale and enjoy food without any feeling of guilt. And I did not gain that much weight (35 pounds!). But the fact is that most of the weight is still there even with my initial 10-15 pound weight loss that came with breast feeding.

I know I could buy a bigger size and embrace my new curvier shape while enjoying food as I did in my pregnancy but I guess I am a little too vain for that. I want to be able to fit in my clothes for a self confidence booster as well as the fact that these are uncertain economic times and this girl cannot afford to go restock her closet. Therefore, I must work with what I got! And that is about 20 pounds of extra weight.

What to do? Well, it is quite simple. I have done all of this before. After my second child, I joined the YMCA's Team Lean and lost 30 pounds and 19% of my body fat in 10 weeks. I also won $650. The plan: I must count calories and exercise. Seriously it is as simple as that consume less calories and burn more of them. And when I say burn I mean I better be sweating in the first 5 minutes or it ain't doing enough.

The problem is three fold:

1. I love food.
2. I hate to exercise.
3. I have 3 kids, including one infant.

So I have made a decision! I am getting up every morning at 5:30 in the a.m. to start running. Anyone who knows me is now saying is she serious because they know how much I like to sleep. But I am doing this. There is no other time. I must exercise or this flab is never going to get off of my body and I will never fit in my jeans! And the only time I do not have 3 munchkins hanging all over me is early in the morning. If I do this and keep it up, then I know I will be able to eat what I want in moderation.

Whatever the case, the next 10 weeks is Liz Hill's own version of Team Lean (wish I had that monetary motivation). And I am recruiting all of you to help me as I start posting Weigh In Wednesdays which will be about my adventure in losing weight.

This is serious!! I must be able to fit into my jeans...that or go naked. And I can't afford to get arrested . . . as I said this are uncertain economic times!

Well I'll Be...

Disclaimer: No I am not getting paid to advertise...I wish!!! I use the S-word a lot in this post, but always in meaningful context and since I am an educator and don't want to be fired I am using "spit" in its place!

In the South we have all kinds of funny sayings. For instance, if we say, "Oh, bless her!" We don't really mean, "May God brings his blessings upon her." What we mean is that we have either just insulted her or are about to say something ugly about her. Like, "I swear, she is as dumb as dirt...bless her." Or, "Did y'all know that she walked in on her husband in a scandalous position with the maid? Oh, bless her heart!"

When someone shocks us or bestows upon us a new piece of information you might hear, "Well I'll be", "Is that right?", or "You spittin' me?"

Since having children I have experienced many moments where someone has told me something I had no clue about. In other words, I have said "For real?", "Nawwww", and "No Spit?" lots and lots of times. I thought I would share a few of these monumental discoveries with you just in case you are still in the dark about how we remedy some of our children's ailments.

1. Dove soap will get rid of baby acne. For real? Yes, it will.

Rub a little on the corner of a wash cloth and rub it on your darlings little cheeks. After a few days, it will be gone. If not, then it is probably eczema and you need to go get some Eucerin cream.

2. Tea bags in the diaper will relieve diaper rash. Nawwwww? It will. You put them in dry and when the little one wets the tea bags the chemicals in the urine will release some sort of healing powers in the tea.

3. Vapor rub on the feet is like a miracle. Is that right? Certainly is. For some reason, your feet are more porous than any other part of your body. Therefore, if you rub vapor rub on his little precious feet and then put on socks the vapors will relieve congestion and make them feel as if they are wrapped in a blanket of Vick's magic.

4. A wet paper towel and a plastic cup does wonders for an ear infection. No spit? Yes, spit it does. Wet a paper towel and squeeze it out just so it is not dripping. Then heat it in the microwave for about 30-60 seconds. Fold it up and put it in the bottom of the cup. Hold the open end of the cup to their little ear and the steam will loosen the pressure behind the ear drum.

5. Dandruff shampoo will cure cradle cap. Someone told me this and I literally said, "Your spittin' me?" We have never struggled with cradle cap until recently our third baby. It was scaly, greenish, flaky, and gross. It even smelled bad. Nothing we did worked. We tried fancy lotion, oil, vaseline...nothing worked.

Then my baby sitter said she had heard that if you rubbed dandruff shampoo into the cradle cap like lotion and then leave it on. And presto!!! Within a day it is almost gone.

Do you have anything that would make me say, "Well I'll be..."? Cause I will take all of the advice I can get even if I do accuse you of "spittin' me!"

Oops! I Did It Again!

Let me begin by stating that I am not a frivolous spender. I mean, I am couponer for goodness sake and a good one to boot! With that being said, I must admit to a little spending as of late much to the dismay of my also thrifty husband to the point that he keeps a spread sheet of our household spending.

And to be honest I do not normally spend money on myself. If I do, I am so cheap I rarely will buy something that cost more than $20, be it a shirt, shoes, or (my fave) a flirty summer dress. Even if I find the perfect little dress, I refuse to spend more than $30 on it. I am the same with my kids. Lord help them when they get into the Aeropostale, Abercrombie, and Hollister stage because there is NO WAY I am spending $45 on a t-shirt!!

So I have recently met my downfall...Zulily.com I am quite certain that you have heard of this

delectable site and if you have not be prepared to meet YOUR downfall! Zulily is a temptress who focuses on providing busy moms with 50-70% off boutique brand prices.

At first, I resisted...deleting the e-mails. Then I looked but never bought withstanding the temptations. But then, as if it knew my weakness, they appeared. The prettiest pair of red shoes I have ever seen. I have been looking for red shoes ever since my sister found a pair (she paid *choke* $75) and I got caught trying to steal, I mean borrow, them from her closet by way of hiding them under my shirt. And they were half off!! Regular $49.99 and on sale for $24.99! I could not resist.

Aren't they sooooooooo pretty???

Then a couple of weeks later the cutest little dresses showed up. What was even better is that they were dresses that came in all three sizes I needed for my little female munchkins, which is very hard to do once one passes 6x. I was so sad the day she moved into a different department. And then a tragic event occurred...she grew out of Carter's! A travesty!!!

So that was it. No more. I was not opening any more e-mails!! I mean it! Well...I meant for a day or two. And then came today. I opened the "Big Summer Blow Out Event" email. And what did I find? The two cutest pairs of shoes!

In both shoes they only had one size and it just happened to be mine. Then I looked at the price. They were 75% off and only *GASP* $14.99. What to do, what to do? I wasn't going to give in again. But...I did need some brown shoes. My other pairs have seen better days. One is stapled together after the super glue stopped working and the other is so scuffed up it looks like it got in a cat fight. And they were only $14.99!

So what did I do? Well...I dipped into my pocketbook, pulled out my wallet, and in the words of Britney Spears "Oops I Did It Again". I swear this is it. I am not looking any more. Well, at least not any more tonight!

Spinach Ravioli Lasagna

My fabulous sister, Leslie, shared this recipe, and it rocked our world!! The first time I served it the munchkins turn their noses up. One even said that it looked like "boogers". But being the brave souls they are they tried it: starting first with my oldest who tentatively put a bite in her mouth while her little sister waited for her to give the go ahead. And go ahead they did. They ate and ate and ate. They literally had stomach aches afterwards. And I must admit, I had to make myself stop eating it, too. Now it is our favorite dish!

Ingredients

1 bag of Baby Spinach
4 oz of Pesto (green kind) sauce
1-15 oz jar of Alfredo sauce (I use reduced fat)
1/4 cup. chicken broth
1 (18-20 oz) package of refrigerated or frozen ravioli
1/2 cup Italian cheese blend

Finely chop spinach and mix with pesto sauce. Mix Alfredo sauce with broth. Pour 1/3 of Alfredo mixture into bottom of 2 quart casserole dish. Spread half of spinach mixture on top of that. Then layer half of raviolis. Repeat layers. Top with remaining third of Alfredo mixture. Bake at 375 for 20 minutes. Add cheese to top and cook for another 5 minutes. Enjoy!!

The Smell of Rain

Its raining outside. Oh how I love the rain! It is so calming, so refreshing, so cleansing. Earlier when I noticed the clouds rolling in, I literally got excited thinking about the possibility of rain. Then when Jim Cantore confirmed our 80% chance I was ecstatic. As I stepped outside to exit yet another poopy diaper wrapped in a grocery bag, I inhaled and was met instantly not by that oh so lovely smell of Nutramagin formula poopy diapers, but by the sweet, delicious smell of rain: the smell of promise and of renewal. 

Can you smell the rain? My oldest munchkin can. She can always tell when it is going to rain just by smelling the air. Maybe she will grow up to be Jim Cantore's assistant.

I wish I could say that my excitement of our impending showers was for unselfish reasons, like, because we really need the rain (which we do). But this was not the case. I was excited because rain meant no football practice which would result in my husband being home. And, more importantly, rain meant a calming and relaxing setting for some good snoozing!

Now if you have read any of my blogs before you should sense the foreboding lurking just behind the door. No literally, it is right behind that door. The one right down the hallway. The one that leads to the room of my 12 or 13 (I forget due to lack of sleep) week old. Because after getting everyone, including the baby, the two other munchkins, and my husband in bed, I tiptoe in to my bedroom, lay down in the bed, read a chapter or two from my book (Heaven is For Real, which is phenominal), snuggle down into the covers, and close my eyes.
Wait for it!


3


2


1

It starts quietly, but it starts nonetheless. The subtle whining of a little one who has been awoken from her slumber that has only been going for less than 30 minutes: the whining that soon blossoms into a full on wail. Reluctantly, I get out of bed and put the paci in  to no avail. She is not having it. So I do what any good wife of a husband who lets her sleep late everyday should do: I shut his door and let him nap to the hypnotizing sound of the rain. While I give up, fix a pot of coffee, and start to blog while waiting to see if she will drift back off, which she does before I am even half way through.





I think she just didn't want her mama to miss one of her favorite things: the smell of rain.

Cheesy Enchiladas

Creamy Enchiladas

Ingredients

1-2 lb hamburger meat browned and drain

1 pack of taco seasoning

1 1/2 Mexican or Cheddar shredded cheese

1 pack of 10-12 inch tortillas

1 can Cream of Chicken 

16 oz sour cream

Mix together hamburger meat, taco seasoning, and 1 cup of cheese. Place 1-2 spoon fulls of mixture into each tortilla, roll it up, and lay seam down in a 9 x13 pan. Mix together sour cream and cream of chicken soup. Pour over top of tortillas. Sprinkle remaining cheese on top of casserole. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. 

*You could use chicken too!

Taco Ring

Taco Ring

Okay this is totally not mine. I did not steal it. I just made it and ate it. I am sure many of you have seen it before, but I thought I would share. 

Ingredients

2 cans of crescent rolls

1 lb ground beef

1/2 c. shredded cheddar

1 pack of Taco seasoning

Brown ground beef and drain. Put back in pan and mix with 2 tbs of water and seasoning. Mix in cheese. Take crescent rolls and separate them into triangles. Make a circle with crescent rolls with flat side inside and pointed side facing out. It will look like a wreath. Press the inside down to make it wider. Scoop beef mixture around the wreath. Fold points back toward the middle so that they wrap around the beef. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes. Serve with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, salsa, and sour cream. 

Made it the other night and munchkins gobbled it up. Super Yummy! Thanks Pampered Chef!

Tomorrow is Another Day

Currently I am "hold up" in my bedroom with the door locked, the lights out, and 2 fans on to drowned out all of the noise. I have left my husband to the wolves or in this case small female munchkins and have tried to run far, far away. Alas, the farthest place I could run was to my bedroom. 


Why, you might ask, are you hiding in your room ready to chastise anyone who might enter your sanctuary? Well because I have been on the edge of a mental break down for a couple of days. I mean, don't we all get there at some point in time. (I can feel you vigorously nodding your head). Yesterday, I literally felt like my chest was caving in. It felt as if there was an elephant sitting on top of it. 


It, of course, could have been that the night before I got less than three hours sleep. Or it could have been that I felt overwhelmed with the task of getting ready for the beach while also getting ready for the maid to come (you know how you have to clean up so that she can clean;). Or it could have been that I am at the end of the summer semester in my Educational Specialist program and everything is suddenly due. But most likely it is because I have not been away from my children in 7 days. 


When I say I have not been away from them, I mean not at all. Even when I sleep they tip toe in to tell me something. Even when I pee they come and stand at the door to talk to me. Even when I hide in the dark stairway with the door shut I can hear them running around the house calling my name until I am almost driven to the point of absolute insanity and yell, "Here I am!!!" leading them right to me. And where is he? At football practice, morning, noon, and night! Do I blame him? Heck no! I envy him, for even though he is at work he gets time outside with grown up people who have grown up conversations!


So when did it occur to me that I had not had one iota of mommy time in 7 days? Well, it was right about the time that my husband's doctor's appointment started. We all went together because we were going to Publix together and anyone who knows me knows that we go to Publix together so that we can split up and use more coupons (another blog later on how my children are forced to act like they don't know the other parent and sibling as we pass on the cereal isle). 


Anyway, there I was. Once again all alone with them and confined to a small space inside the car. And what happens? The blasted DVD player won't work and after trying 4 different DVD's we deem it broken and I deem myself in H-e-l-l. Especially when my 12 week old awakens, apparently hungry but after 2 ounces decides she is not and would much rather spend the time screaming at the top of her lungs!


Thirty minutes into this...torture...insanity....situation she is still crying after I have changed her diaper, tried to feed her, and given her Mylicon all to no avail. And now not only is she crying but the four year old is crying because her "sissy is upset", the seven year old is contemplating dialing 911 or at the very least her daddy, I have pretty much cussed my husband for everything he is worth (even though he doesn't deserve it) via text messaging and am now having an utter breakdown complete with heaving sobs. 


So I do the only thing I can think of...I buckle everyone back in and take off. As soon as I start driving most of the crying stops. All that is left is me. But even I can form a rational thought now. It was at this point when I realized I had not had any time to myself in 7 days. No wonder I was going crazy. Not crazy enough to drive off a bridge or beat my children (which I would never, ever do and think that anyone who does should rot in jail until kingdom come... but could now see how someone could get to that point) but crazy enough to feel like there might be some Zoloft or Lexipro in my future. 


Alas, some quiet time, breathing room, and a little retail therapy has made almost everything better. Plus, the 20 minutes I have been sitting here pouring myself out to people who I know will not judge me but will agree that we have all been there at some point has helped eliminate much of my stress. That and the knowledge that tomorrow is another day:a day that my husband will be home, a day I will start a new prescription :), and a day where I will count my blessings that God has blessed me with the most beautiful and loving (be it sometimes annoying) daughters in the whole world. 

Stupid Rookie Mistake

I know I might sound cocky but I am pretty knowledgeable about many things. Now, of course if you talk to my husband he would say that HE is pretty knowledgeable about many things. These two facts coupled with both of our inherent needs to be right leads to, as I am sure you can imagine, some heated discussions that end usually with me fuming and refusing to speak because inevitably he was, OF COURSE, right!


That being said I AM usually right about anything having to do with pregnancy or babies. Chalk it up to my innate desire to read everything I can on any thing I am going through, which is of course the reason why every time I get sick I automatically Google whatever it is and as a result am convinced that I have cancer, am going blind, or will need an appendage removed. 


Anyway, my point is that I know a lot about the baby stage. Am I saying I am the end all of baby experts? NO!! I mean, if I was I would certainly be marketing my wares and not be stuck teaching school (which I absolutely love if you are reading this and are the parent of one of my children:-) But I do know a lot and am usually the person my friends call for advice about pregnancy and babies


My biggest philosophy is to "Start as You Mean to Go". In other words, whatever you do in the beginning. You better be ready to do it for the long haul, or at least be ready for an extremely rough transition when you decide whatever you did in the beginning is no longer what you want to do. 


For instance, if you want your child to still be in the bed with you when he is 4 then go ahead and cosleep when he is a baby. If you want to be rocking your 6 year old to sleep or having to lay down with her to get her to drift off into dream land, go ahead and rock her to sleep when she is a baby. If you want to have to run into a Minute Store and have to heat up a bottle in their nacho and hot dog encrusted microwave (like we did with our first), start heating up your bottle. Now we just use room temperature water. It was the best advice we ever got! If you want to have a child that is violent and hits other kids on the playground, go ahead and don't get on to him or her the first time they swat at you. Think it is cute or that he or she doesn't know any better, and I promise it will continue to happen. 
*****Disclaimer-if you have done any of these, I am not judging. You have to do what you feel is best for your family. I'm just sayin'.


So why, pray tell, did we not put our baby to sleep in her bed from the beginning! We did it with both of our other two, and they were sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. Why? Well, because we saw an awesome new invention called "The Nappy Nanny". 


It seemed perfect for us since the little one has reflux (of course our other two did also) and it would keep  her upright so her little throat would not burn throughout the night and, therefore, we would all get more sleep. Plus, there were so many testimonials about how great it was and how their children slept for 6-7 hours at a time, and we got sucked in. 


We did not think about what would happen when she started rolling over because that wouldn't happen until around 3-4 months. We did not think about when she started sitting up and what we would do because that wouldn't happen to around 6-7 months. And we certainly did not think about what would happen when she went to daycare at 12 weeks, because they are not allowed to have sleep positioners (they considered Nap Nannies to be such) at daycare. And of course, we did not think about that 6-7 hours really isn't that long when you think of sleeping through the night as sleeping from 9 p.m. to 6 or7 a.m.


So what have we been doing for the last 5 days? Transitioning. Transitioning from The Nap Nanny to the crib. The first day's nap times were "napmares"!! Our child who normally took 2-2 1/2 hour naps refused to nap. I mean, who could blame her? Ripped from the only bed she has ever known to be placed in a strange new place would be very upsetting. So after that we readied ourselves for a night of pure hell and put her down to sleep. 


And sleep she did! That girl snoozed it up until her normal 3 a.m. feeding. The next day the naps were better, not great, but better. However, that next night was a different story. She woke up a couple of times between 1 and 2  and we put her pacifier back in. She then slept until 5:15 and then, thinking we would be pressing our luck, we put the pacifier back in. Amazingly, she slept UNTIL 6:30 in the A.M.!!!! She is 11 weeks old and that was the first time she slept all through the night. 


Since then she has slept to at least 5 each morning. Of course, we have still had to go in and put the pacifier in a few times during the night. But, heck, we'll take what we can get! Plus, she now take 3 2-3 hour naps every day!!!

I am not saying a Nap Nanny is a bad thing, because it's not. It is a phenimonal invention!! One I wish I had thought of that way I would not have to teach (which I love so much if you are one of my student's parents:). But no... we, knowledgeable people that we are, strayed away from all that we know and did not start as we meant to go. Stupid Rookie Mistake...one that could have kept us from 4 weeks worth of sleeping. Stupid Rookie Mistake!!

I Love Coffee

As I sit here at 6:30 a.m. after being awakened at 5:15 by my youngest munchkin, all I can think about is...how much I LOVE coffee!! I mean, seriously! It is the only reason we have made it through the last 11 weeks with our sanity still intact. 



Our other 2 girls slept through the night at 6 weeks. This child...not so much. Of course, they were eating 6-8 oz. bottles by that point, whereas this little one was barely getting to 3. No wonder she was not sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. She was starving!!


So we have two choices: be miserable and sleep deprived (neither one of us do well without sleep) or be happy and sleep deprived. Either way, we are going to be sleep deprived. So what is the solution? How are we able to be happy even though we are getting virtually  no sleep at all and we are getting to that dangerous point in a marriage right after you have a baby when you start competing about who has gotten the least amount of sleep which is a competition that never ends well? The solution...COFFEE!


Coffee-that "Sweet Nectar of Life" to quote some very wise character off of Finding Nemo was the key. A few cups of coffee in the morning does wonders for the sleep deprived. 

Coffee in the morning and a nap do wonders for the body, mind, and soul. Alas, naps don't happen so much in our household. First of all, it is very difficult to get all 3 munchkins down at one time because inevitably someone needs water or the bathroom or a hug. Secondly, there are all kinds of things that beckon you out of your cozy bed...laundry, dishes, cleaning, blessed time alone without someone pulling on you. Lastly, you can almost guarantee that as soon as you get everyone down, complete any imperative task that can not wait, and start to drift off into dreamland you will hear something that starts out as a small whimper and gradually erupts into a full on wail. If you want a way to assure that your child's normal 2 hour nap ends early, lay down for a nap of your own because it is inevitable that as soon as your head hits the pillow and you begin to fall asleep she WILL wake up. 


So what is the answer? Don't do it. Don't nap. Forget all of those people who tell you to sleep when they sleep. That is for the very, very beginning when they sleep all the time and when they get much older and you can guarantee they are not going to wake up and if they do they can find a TV of their own and watch while you sleep. Therefore, the solution is no naps. All you will do is get frustrated and aggravated, which is no way to be with that precious darling who just loves you so much that she wants your attention even when she should be sleeping. 


So what do we do? We become old people. We drink coffee. We drink coffee all day long. At 3 o'clock in the afternoon, our kitchen is full of the deliciously enticing smell of coffee. And as the fabulous, heavenly nectar makes it way down your throat and eliminates your feelings of sleepiness you can't help but think, "Oh, how I love my precious darlings and oh, how I LOVE COFFEE!!!"

Poisoning Happiness

I have often wondered is there such a thing as being too happy. I especially think about it when I am feeling exceedingly lucky. Isn't that sad? I let bad thoughts poison my good times.

For instance, life has been good lately. Now I am not saying it is perfect. Children still fight and throw fits and argue with me and each other. My husband and I still get that "Tone" with each other that leads to long silences. But life is dang sure close to being perfect.

Today was my husband's birthday, and it has been a perfect day. We spent it all together eating and playing and hanging out and loving each other. As I watched my children and husband playing outside while I cooked supper and talked to my 9 week old who was throwing me lots of her gummy smiles, I could not help but think how great life is.

Then it started. Thoughts creeping in. Poisoning my happiness with all the thoughts of things that could go wrong. This happens all of the time to me, and my husband has told me over and over again that I have an overactive imagination and to stop being so dramatic, but I can't help it. Thoughts of car crashes, freak accidents, fires, bad people doing bad things all poison my mind. I have actually gotten back out of bed after being tucked in and almost falling a sleep to go kiss my children again because I think "What if?". There are times I sometimes can't even breathe because I am so afraid of what could come and hurt my husband, my children, my perfectly happy life.

Why is that? Is it because I watch the news too much? Is it because I read books where bad things happen and for some reason I just can't let them go? Is it because I watched all those movies that my mom said would rot my brain and they obviously did?  Is it because I see horrible things that happen to others and selfishly pray to God thanking him for it not being me? Is it because I will never understand why bad things happen to good people? Is it because I don't feel like I deserve to be this happy?

Am I the only one who does this? I don't know. But I do know that every morning and every night I praise God for my happiness.I praise Him for loving me enough to save me because there is no way I could have sacrificed any one of my children for a whole bunch of sinners. I praise Him for my loving husband who treats me like a princess while also making me his equal. I praise Him for my girls who sometimes make me want to pull my hair out (especially the one who will not sleep through the night) but amaze me by how much they completely fill up my heart when I didn't think there was any more room. I praise Him for my family who will stand by me no matter how heated the words are we may sometimes exchange. I praise Him for friends who do not ask or expect me to change but accept me for my bluntness, dramaticness, and sometimes inappropriateness.

Most of all, I praise Him for not poisoning my happiness, for keeping those I love safe, and for loving my enough even when I truly don't deserve it.

Go to Sleep!!

When we got to the beach a few days ago, my sister told my husband and I that she wanted to read us a bedtime story. She warned us that it was quite crude, offensive, had much dirty language, and was also very, very true. Later in the week, the book was featured on CNN.com and Samuel L. Jackson was reading the audio book. I can not think of anyone better to do it. As a sleep deprived parent, I found this book absolutely hilarious.

*****Warning:If you are easily offended by bad language, DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO!

Instruction Manual Please!!

We are now officially the parents of three little girls. I say officially, because the other day we received our insurance card declaring Alden Randi Hill as part of the Hill family, which is positive seeing as around that same time we received a bill from the hospital for her care, all $926 worth! Luckily the insurance had not been applied yet because at the time she was not "really" part of our family.

Anyway, I was thinking...there is something more imperative than an insurance card that I would like to receive in the mail. How about an instruction manual? Instructions come with everything these days: TV's, blenders, Campbell's soups, heck toothbrushes even have instructions. So why not kids?

It would be extremely helpful. And could go something like this:

Congratulations! You are the proud owner of a new baby girl. Please read the instructions thoroughly before beginning to interact with model #3354. In order to begin, pick model up and cradle in arms remembering to support head. This model enjoys being held upright with belly pressing against your chest. Breast milk may be attempted but eventually she will not like it and you will need to go to formula. You can switch formula all you want but this is a state of the art model and will require the most expensive formula known to man! Please know that this is a particularly finicky model and must be burped every ounce of bottle, not half way through like other models. When sleeping, this model must be propped up, either in a car seat, with towels placed under mattress, or in a Nap Nanny (sold separately). You are one of the lucky owners of a model that does enjoy a pacifier but only if you jiggle it in her mouth just the right way for several minutes. Beware this model is known to have explosive bowel movements and projectile vomit both of which can be washed out of clothes when treated with Zout (also sold separately).

I think that a instruction manual would be quite beneficial and keep many new parents from going completely bonkers and wanting to return (if only figuratively) their model to the store claiming that it is defective. If printing an instruction manual for every model of newborn is not feasible due to the need to conserve paper and therefore save the Earth, then at least they should come out with a tag attached with care instructions much like a t-shirt! At any rate, What to Expect the First Year and Google is not enough, I need an Instruction Manual Please especially geared to my infant!!! Thank you very much. I will be waiting by my driveway for UPS to deliver it.

Stupid Extreme Couponing

I am not sure whether you know this or not but I am really into couponing. When I say me, I mean our whole family. My children are trained to look for coupons everywhere: in their cereal boxes, on a wrapper, and especially at the store where they will bowl old ladies over to pull the coupons from the Blinkies. And my husband is surpassing me on deal finding and coupon combining. 


A friend and I are even writing a book about couponing secrets. Of course the book is on hold because, like anything else, we got all pumped about it last year and then other things came up like school, munchkins, college classes, a new business venture, a new baby...basically...LIFE. 


Anyway, when I saw the new show on TLC called Extreme Couponing, I was excited. I could not wait to see how other people did it and learn from "the pros" how to capitalize on my savings. However, after watching the first episode where that woman bought 75 mustards I had a strong sense of dark foreboding. Not only was the show letting everyone in on the secrets (a good thing) it was also showing stores how much money they could be potentially losing (not a good thing). I mean that lady had a total of around $675 and after coupons only paid around $6.





What has now resulted is a total "revamp" of most stores coupon policies...BLAST YOU EXTREME COUPONING.


Let me give you an example. At Publix a box of Cheerios is $4.00. If there is a Buy One Get One deal (a.k.a. BOGO) deal, you can get 2 boxes of Cheerios at $2 each. Then lets say you have a coupon for $1 off of 2. That takes the total for each box down to $1.50. Then you have a Target, Harveys, Dollar General, Family Dollar, Walgreens, Food Lion, Rite Aid or CVS (all of these competitors' coupons were accepted at our Publix) coupon for $1 off one box of Cheerios. You can use 2 of those coupons because the BOGO is considered 2 items. So that brings the total down to $.50 a box. Wow!


However, now with this atrocity which is EXTREME COUPONING, our Publix only accepts Harveys coupons. They do not consider any of the other stores competitors even though they sell the same items. Now I know that looks like only a $2 loss, but if you by 18 boxes of cereal, like I did yesterday, the new policy costs you a savings of $36. That is a huge chunk! 


I mean really Publix! You netted 1.3 billion dollars last year (according to Jamie my Publix bag boy yesterday;) and that was my best year couponing. So I really don't think your company is hurting all that much. I mean in the great metropolis of Tallahassee there is a dad gum Publix on every corner. I don't think these uncertain economic times are really affecting you all that much.


Anyway, even with the new coupon policy I didn't do to shabby yesterday on my first Publix trip since giving birth a month a go. That being said I did make some rookie mistakes that cost me some savings: 1. I did not print the circular before going, 2. I did not make my list until I got there, 3. I was unable to look for coupons on the items I was purchasing and print them before I left the house, 4. I did not have my coupons organized before getting to the store. As a result of all of these mistakes, I did not save as much as I could have, it took me forever, and there were different points in the store where I broke into a sweat and almost had an anxiety attack because I was having to force my ADHD self to focus. 


So how did I do? Well with all that I spent $118 and saved $129. It is always good when your savings are higher than what you spent. That is your goal. What did I buy? Well...
18 boxes of assorted varieties of Cheerios and Fruit Loops (I am not wasteful we will eat that before summer is up)
12 boxes of Betty Crocker Fruit Chews
2 Kid Shampoos
2 Body Washes
2 cans of biscuits
2 blocks of Cream Cheese
2 packages of Buitonni Ravioli
3 cans of Chef Boyardee Ravioli
2 Dijorno Pizzas w/cookies
4 cans of Campbells soup
1 Bicardi Mixer
1 Whisk Detergent
6 cans of Hormel Chicken
2 packs of Oscar Meyer Deli Ham
2 bottles of Coffee Mate
4 bags of Doritos
Bananas
Blueberries
Vidalia Onions
Granny Smith Apples
Corn on the Cobb


Not half bad! But it could have been sooooooo muuuuuccccchhhh better if it wasn't for that stupid, spawn of Satan Extreme Couponing show!

Heaven Forbid if There is a Real Emergency

Picture it: Cairo...2011


I have just dropped my oldest off at dance (wow how nice it is when they are old enough to be dropped off!). The middle child and I are leaving and heading to our local dance shop to spend a small fortune to ready ourselves for our upcoming recital. I stop at the red light and wait. 


Finally, it turns green, but as I begin to push the gas pedal I notice a tiny puff of smoke come of the top of the transformer beside the red light. Needless to say, the red light went kaput. I proceeded forward by following the rule of four way stop, which any good driver learns about in driving class...or those of us who are not good drivers learn from almost wrecks or impending tickets!


Any who...I continue over the over pass that goes over the railroad tracks only to be met on the other side by another non working red light, but some of these drivers have obviously never taken driver's ed or gotten a ticket or almost gotten a wreck (although I see that happening in their future), because this red light was almost in pandemonium. By pandemonium, I clearly mean (seeing as we are in Cairo, GA) that there were four cars trying to figure out who should go and when. 


So after finally being getting through the stop light, I did what any good citizen and girl who loves drama would do: I dialed 911 to let them know about the power outage. Here is the conversation that followed:


Operator: Grady County 911
Me: Yes I wanted to report that the red lights on 5th street are not working

Operator: Red lights where?

Me: On fifth street

Operator: Where are you on fifth street

Me: I am at the over pass

Operator: Which over pass?

Me: (here is where I start worrying about our county's emergency system) The over pass on 5th 

****Let me interject at this point that there is only one, let me repeat, one over pass in all of Cairo.

Operator: Well...are you on east or west

Me: um....I don't know....I am on the over pass near the high school.

Operator: Which high school?

Me: (SERIOUSLY) Cairo High School (The only high school in Cairo!!!!!!!!)

Operator: Okay, we will dispatch someone

Me: Thank you

After leaving the store, I head home and come to where 5th street intersects with highway 84 (the major road in this small town), and there is still no one at the red lights! I do not blame the police...they probably couldn't figure out where they were being sent due to the lack of clear directions coming across the radio!

Now I am sorry if you are that 911 operator or if she is your sister or aunt or whoever but COME ON. What if I was injured? Or in a wreck? Or being robbed? Or on fire? Heaven forbid if there is a real emergency, because they will never be able to find me!!!