Spinach Ravioli Lasagna

My fabulous sister, Leslie, shared this recipe, and it rocked our world!! The first time I served it the munchkins turn their noses up. One even said that it looked like "boogers". But being the brave souls they are they tried it: starting first with my oldest who tentatively put a bite in her mouth while her little sister waited for her to give the go ahead. And go ahead they did. They ate and ate and ate. They literally had stomach aches afterwards. And I must admit, I had to make myself stop eating it, too. Now it is our favorite dish!

Ingredients

1 bag of Baby Spinach
4 oz of Pesto (green kind) sauce
1-15 oz jar of Alfredo sauce (I use reduced fat)
1/4 cup. chicken broth
1 (18-20 oz) package of refrigerated or frozen ravioli
1/2 cup Italian cheese blend

Finely chop spinach and mix with pesto sauce. Mix Alfredo sauce with broth. Pour 1/3 of Alfredo mixture into bottom of 2 quart casserole dish. Spread half of spinach mixture on top of that. Then layer half of raviolis. Repeat layers. Top with remaining third of Alfredo mixture. Bake at 375 for 20 minutes. Add cheese to top and cook for another 5 minutes. Enjoy!!

The Smell of Rain

Its raining outside. Oh how I love the rain! It is so calming, so refreshing, so cleansing. Earlier when I noticed the clouds rolling in, I literally got excited thinking about the possibility of rain. Then when Jim Cantore confirmed our 80% chance I was ecstatic. As I stepped outside to exit yet another poopy diaper wrapped in a grocery bag, I inhaled and was met instantly not by that oh so lovely smell of Nutramagin formula poopy diapers, but by the sweet, delicious smell of rain: the smell of promise and of renewal. 

Can you smell the rain? My oldest munchkin can. She can always tell when it is going to rain just by smelling the air. Maybe she will grow up to be Jim Cantore's assistant.

I wish I could say that my excitement of our impending showers was for unselfish reasons, like, because we really need the rain (which we do). But this was not the case. I was excited because rain meant no football practice which would result in my husband being home. And, more importantly, rain meant a calming and relaxing setting for some good snoozing!

Now if you have read any of my blogs before you should sense the foreboding lurking just behind the door. No literally, it is right behind that door. The one right down the hallway. The one that leads to the room of my 12 or 13 (I forget due to lack of sleep) week old. Because after getting everyone, including the baby, the two other munchkins, and my husband in bed, I tiptoe in to my bedroom, lay down in the bed, read a chapter or two from my book (Heaven is For Real, which is phenominal), snuggle down into the covers, and close my eyes.
Wait for it!


3


2


1

It starts quietly, but it starts nonetheless. The subtle whining of a little one who has been awoken from her slumber that has only been going for less than 30 minutes: the whining that soon blossoms into a full on wail. Reluctantly, I get out of bed and put the paci in  to no avail. She is not having it. So I do what any good wife of a husband who lets her sleep late everyday should do: I shut his door and let him nap to the hypnotizing sound of the rain. While I give up, fix a pot of coffee, and start to blog while waiting to see if she will drift back off, which she does before I am even half way through.





I think she just didn't want her mama to miss one of her favorite things: the smell of rain.

Cheesy Enchiladas

Creamy Enchiladas

Ingredients

1-2 lb hamburger meat browned and drain

1 pack of taco seasoning

1 1/2 Mexican or Cheddar shredded cheese

1 pack of 10-12 inch tortillas

1 can Cream of Chicken 

16 oz sour cream

Mix together hamburger meat, taco seasoning, and 1 cup of cheese. Place 1-2 spoon fulls of mixture into each tortilla, roll it up, and lay seam down in a 9 x13 pan. Mix together sour cream and cream of chicken soup. Pour over top of tortillas. Sprinkle remaining cheese on top of casserole. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. 

*You could use chicken too!

Taco Ring

Taco Ring

Okay this is totally not mine. I did not steal it. I just made it and ate it. I am sure many of you have seen it before, but I thought I would share. 

Ingredients

2 cans of crescent rolls

1 lb ground beef

1/2 c. shredded cheddar

1 pack of Taco seasoning

Brown ground beef and drain. Put back in pan and mix with 2 tbs of water and seasoning. Mix in cheese. Take crescent rolls and separate them into triangles. Make a circle with crescent rolls with flat side inside and pointed side facing out. It will look like a wreath. Press the inside down to make it wider. Scoop beef mixture around the wreath. Fold points back toward the middle so that they wrap around the beef. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes. Serve with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, salsa, and sour cream. 

Made it the other night and munchkins gobbled it up. Super Yummy! Thanks Pampered Chef!

Tomorrow is Another Day

Currently I am "hold up" in my bedroom with the door locked, the lights out, and 2 fans on to drowned out all of the noise. I have left my husband to the wolves or in this case small female munchkins and have tried to run far, far away. Alas, the farthest place I could run was to my bedroom. 


Why, you might ask, are you hiding in your room ready to chastise anyone who might enter your sanctuary? Well because I have been on the edge of a mental break down for a couple of days. I mean, don't we all get there at some point in time. (I can feel you vigorously nodding your head). Yesterday, I literally felt like my chest was caving in. It felt as if there was an elephant sitting on top of it. 


It, of course, could have been that the night before I got less than three hours sleep. Or it could have been that I felt overwhelmed with the task of getting ready for the beach while also getting ready for the maid to come (you know how you have to clean up so that she can clean;). Or it could have been that I am at the end of the summer semester in my Educational Specialist program and everything is suddenly due. But most likely it is because I have not been away from my children in 7 days. 


When I say I have not been away from them, I mean not at all. Even when I sleep they tip toe in to tell me something. Even when I pee they come and stand at the door to talk to me. Even when I hide in the dark stairway with the door shut I can hear them running around the house calling my name until I am almost driven to the point of absolute insanity and yell, "Here I am!!!" leading them right to me. And where is he? At football practice, morning, noon, and night! Do I blame him? Heck no! I envy him, for even though he is at work he gets time outside with grown up people who have grown up conversations!


So when did it occur to me that I had not had one iota of mommy time in 7 days? Well, it was right about the time that my husband's doctor's appointment started. We all went together because we were going to Publix together and anyone who knows me knows that we go to Publix together so that we can split up and use more coupons (another blog later on how my children are forced to act like they don't know the other parent and sibling as we pass on the cereal isle). 


Anyway, there I was. Once again all alone with them and confined to a small space inside the car. And what happens? The blasted DVD player won't work and after trying 4 different DVD's we deem it broken and I deem myself in H-e-l-l. Especially when my 12 week old awakens, apparently hungry but after 2 ounces decides she is not and would much rather spend the time screaming at the top of her lungs!


Thirty minutes into this...torture...insanity....situation she is still crying after I have changed her diaper, tried to feed her, and given her Mylicon all to no avail. And now not only is she crying but the four year old is crying because her "sissy is upset", the seven year old is contemplating dialing 911 or at the very least her daddy, I have pretty much cussed my husband for everything he is worth (even though he doesn't deserve it) via text messaging and am now having an utter breakdown complete with heaving sobs. 


So I do the only thing I can think of...I buckle everyone back in and take off. As soon as I start driving most of the crying stops. All that is left is me. But even I can form a rational thought now. It was at this point when I realized I had not had any time to myself in 7 days. No wonder I was going crazy. Not crazy enough to drive off a bridge or beat my children (which I would never, ever do and think that anyone who does should rot in jail until kingdom come... but could now see how someone could get to that point) but crazy enough to feel like there might be some Zoloft or Lexipro in my future. 


Alas, some quiet time, breathing room, and a little retail therapy has made almost everything better. Plus, the 20 minutes I have been sitting here pouring myself out to people who I know will not judge me but will agree that we have all been there at some point has helped eliminate much of my stress. That and the knowledge that tomorrow is another day:a day that my husband will be home, a day I will start a new prescription :), and a day where I will count my blessings that God has blessed me with the most beautiful and loving (be it sometimes annoying) daughters in the whole world. 

Stupid Rookie Mistake

I know I might sound cocky but I am pretty knowledgeable about many things. Now, of course if you talk to my husband he would say that HE is pretty knowledgeable about many things. These two facts coupled with both of our inherent needs to be right leads to, as I am sure you can imagine, some heated discussions that end usually with me fuming and refusing to speak because inevitably he was, OF COURSE, right!


That being said I AM usually right about anything having to do with pregnancy or babies. Chalk it up to my innate desire to read everything I can on any thing I am going through, which is of course the reason why every time I get sick I automatically Google whatever it is and as a result am convinced that I have cancer, am going blind, or will need an appendage removed. 


Anyway, my point is that I know a lot about the baby stage. Am I saying I am the end all of baby experts? NO!! I mean, if I was I would certainly be marketing my wares and not be stuck teaching school (which I absolutely love if you are reading this and are the parent of one of my children:-) But I do know a lot and am usually the person my friends call for advice about pregnancy and babies


My biggest philosophy is to "Start as You Mean to Go". In other words, whatever you do in the beginning. You better be ready to do it for the long haul, or at least be ready for an extremely rough transition when you decide whatever you did in the beginning is no longer what you want to do. 


For instance, if you want your child to still be in the bed with you when he is 4 then go ahead and cosleep when he is a baby. If you want to be rocking your 6 year old to sleep or having to lay down with her to get her to drift off into dream land, go ahead and rock her to sleep when she is a baby. If you want to have to run into a Minute Store and have to heat up a bottle in their nacho and hot dog encrusted microwave (like we did with our first), start heating up your bottle. Now we just use room temperature water. It was the best advice we ever got! If you want to have a child that is violent and hits other kids on the playground, go ahead and don't get on to him or her the first time they swat at you. Think it is cute or that he or she doesn't know any better, and I promise it will continue to happen. 
*****Disclaimer-if you have done any of these, I am not judging. You have to do what you feel is best for your family. I'm just sayin'.


So why, pray tell, did we not put our baby to sleep in her bed from the beginning! We did it with both of our other two, and they were sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. Why? Well, because we saw an awesome new invention called "The Nappy Nanny". 


It seemed perfect for us since the little one has reflux (of course our other two did also) and it would keep  her upright so her little throat would not burn throughout the night and, therefore, we would all get more sleep. Plus, there were so many testimonials about how great it was and how their children slept for 6-7 hours at a time, and we got sucked in. 


We did not think about what would happen when she started rolling over because that wouldn't happen until around 3-4 months. We did not think about when she started sitting up and what we would do because that wouldn't happen to around 6-7 months. And we certainly did not think about what would happen when she went to daycare at 12 weeks, because they are not allowed to have sleep positioners (they considered Nap Nannies to be such) at daycare. And of course, we did not think about that 6-7 hours really isn't that long when you think of sleeping through the night as sleeping from 9 p.m. to 6 or7 a.m.


So what have we been doing for the last 5 days? Transitioning. Transitioning from The Nap Nanny to the crib. The first day's nap times were "napmares"!! Our child who normally took 2-2 1/2 hour naps refused to nap. I mean, who could blame her? Ripped from the only bed she has ever known to be placed in a strange new place would be very upsetting. So after that we readied ourselves for a night of pure hell and put her down to sleep. 


And sleep she did! That girl snoozed it up until her normal 3 a.m. feeding. The next day the naps were better, not great, but better. However, that next night was a different story. She woke up a couple of times between 1 and 2  and we put her pacifier back in. She then slept until 5:15 and then, thinking we would be pressing our luck, we put the pacifier back in. Amazingly, she slept UNTIL 6:30 in the A.M.!!!! She is 11 weeks old and that was the first time she slept all through the night. 


Since then she has slept to at least 5 each morning. Of course, we have still had to go in and put the pacifier in a few times during the night. But, heck, we'll take what we can get! Plus, she now take 3 2-3 hour naps every day!!!

I am not saying a Nap Nanny is a bad thing, because it's not. It is a phenimonal invention!! One I wish I had thought of that way I would not have to teach (which I love so much if you are one of my student's parents:). But no... we, knowledgeable people that we are, strayed away from all that we know and did not start as we meant to go. Stupid Rookie Mistake...one that could have kept us from 4 weeks worth of sleeping. Stupid Rookie Mistake!!

I Love Coffee

As I sit here at 6:30 a.m. after being awakened at 5:15 by my youngest munchkin, all I can think about is...how much I LOVE coffee!! I mean, seriously! It is the only reason we have made it through the last 11 weeks with our sanity still intact. 



Our other 2 girls slept through the night at 6 weeks. This child...not so much. Of course, they were eating 6-8 oz. bottles by that point, whereas this little one was barely getting to 3. No wonder she was not sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. She was starving!!


So we have two choices: be miserable and sleep deprived (neither one of us do well without sleep) or be happy and sleep deprived. Either way, we are going to be sleep deprived. So what is the solution? How are we able to be happy even though we are getting virtually  no sleep at all and we are getting to that dangerous point in a marriage right after you have a baby when you start competing about who has gotten the least amount of sleep which is a competition that never ends well? The solution...COFFEE!


Coffee-that "Sweet Nectar of Life" to quote some very wise character off of Finding Nemo was the key. A few cups of coffee in the morning does wonders for the sleep deprived. 

Coffee in the morning and a nap do wonders for the body, mind, and soul. Alas, naps don't happen so much in our household. First of all, it is very difficult to get all 3 munchkins down at one time because inevitably someone needs water or the bathroom or a hug. Secondly, there are all kinds of things that beckon you out of your cozy bed...laundry, dishes, cleaning, blessed time alone without someone pulling on you. Lastly, you can almost guarantee that as soon as you get everyone down, complete any imperative task that can not wait, and start to drift off into dreamland you will hear something that starts out as a small whimper and gradually erupts into a full on wail. If you want a way to assure that your child's normal 2 hour nap ends early, lay down for a nap of your own because it is inevitable that as soon as your head hits the pillow and you begin to fall asleep she WILL wake up. 


So what is the answer? Don't do it. Don't nap. Forget all of those people who tell you to sleep when they sleep. That is for the very, very beginning when they sleep all the time and when they get much older and you can guarantee they are not going to wake up and if they do they can find a TV of their own and watch while you sleep. Therefore, the solution is no naps. All you will do is get frustrated and aggravated, which is no way to be with that precious darling who just loves you so much that she wants your attention even when she should be sleeping. 


So what do we do? We become old people. We drink coffee. We drink coffee all day long. At 3 o'clock in the afternoon, our kitchen is full of the deliciously enticing smell of coffee. And as the fabulous, heavenly nectar makes it way down your throat and eliminates your feelings of sleepiness you can't help but think, "Oh, how I love my precious darlings and oh, how I LOVE COFFEE!!!"

Poisoning Happiness

I have often wondered is there such a thing as being too happy. I especially think about it when I am feeling exceedingly lucky. Isn't that sad? I let bad thoughts poison my good times.

For instance, life has been good lately. Now I am not saying it is perfect. Children still fight and throw fits and argue with me and each other. My husband and I still get that "Tone" with each other that leads to long silences. But life is dang sure close to being perfect.

Today was my husband's birthday, and it has been a perfect day. We spent it all together eating and playing and hanging out and loving each other. As I watched my children and husband playing outside while I cooked supper and talked to my 9 week old who was throwing me lots of her gummy smiles, I could not help but think how great life is.

Then it started. Thoughts creeping in. Poisoning my happiness with all the thoughts of things that could go wrong. This happens all of the time to me, and my husband has told me over and over again that I have an overactive imagination and to stop being so dramatic, but I can't help it. Thoughts of car crashes, freak accidents, fires, bad people doing bad things all poison my mind. I have actually gotten back out of bed after being tucked in and almost falling a sleep to go kiss my children again because I think "What if?". There are times I sometimes can't even breathe because I am so afraid of what could come and hurt my husband, my children, my perfectly happy life.

Why is that? Is it because I watch the news too much? Is it because I read books where bad things happen and for some reason I just can't let them go? Is it because I watched all those movies that my mom said would rot my brain and they obviously did?  Is it because I see horrible things that happen to others and selfishly pray to God thanking him for it not being me? Is it because I will never understand why bad things happen to good people? Is it because I don't feel like I deserve to be this happy?

Am I the only one who does this? I don't know. But I do know that every morning and every night I praise God for my happiness.I praise Him for loving me enough to save me because there is no way I could have sacrificed any one of my children for a whole bunch of sinners. I praise Him for my loving husband who treats me like a princess while also making me his equal. I praise Him for my girls who sometimes make me want to pull my hair out (especially the one who will not sleep through the night) but amaze me by how much they completely fill up my heart when I didn't think there was any more room. I praise Him for my family who will stand by me no matter how heated the words are we may sometimes exchange. I praise Him for friends who do not ask or expect me to change but accept me for my bluntness, dramaticness, and sometimes inappropriateness.

Most of all, I praise Him for not poisoning my happiness, for keeping those I love safe, and for loving my enough even when I truly don't deserve it.

Go to Sleep!!

When we got to the beach a few days ago, my sister told my husband and I that she wanted to read us a bedtime story. She warned us that it was quite crude, offensive, had much dirty language, and was also very, very true. Later in the week, the book was featured on CNN.com and Samuel L. Jackson was reading the audio book. I can not think of anyone better to do it. As a sleep deprived parent, I found this book absolutely hilarious.

*****Warning:If you are easily offended by bad language, DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO!

Instruction Manual Please!!

We are now officially the parents of three little girls. I say officially, because the other day we received our insurance card declaring Alden Randi Hill as part of the Hill family, which is positive seeing as around that same time we received a bill from the hospital for her care, all $926 worth! Luckily the insurance had not been applied yet because at the time she was not "really" part of our family.

Anyway, I was thinking...there is something more imperative than an insurance card that I would like to receive in the mail. How about an instruction manual? Instructions come with everything these days: TV's, blenders, Campbell's soups, heck toothbrushes even have instructions. So why not kids?

It would be extremely helpful. And could go something like this:

Congratulations! You are the proud owner of a new baby girl. Please read the instructions thoroughly before beginning to interact with model #3354. In order to begin, pick model up and cradle in arms remembering to support head. This model enjoys being held upright with belly pressing against your chest. Breast milk may be attempted but eventually she will not like it and you will need to go to formula. You can switch formula all you want but this is a state of the art model and will require the most expensive formula known to man! Please know that this is a particularly finicky model and must be burped every ounce of bottle, not half way through like other models. When sleeping, this model must be propped up, either in a car seat, with towels placed under mattress, or in a Nap Nanny (sold separately). You are one of the lucky owners of a model that does enjoy a pacifier but only if you jiggle it in her mouth just the right way for several minutes. Beware this model is known to have explosive bowel movements and projectile vomit both of which can be washed out of clothes when treated with Zout (also sold separately).

I think that a instruction manual would be quite beneficial and keep many new parents from going completely bonkers and wanting to return (if only figuratively) their model to the store claiming that it is defective. If printing an instruction manual for every model of newborn is not feasible due to the need to conserve paper and therefore save the Earth, then at least they should come out with a tag attached with care instructions much like a t-shirt! At any rate, What to Expect the First Year and Google is not enough, I need an Instruction Manual Please especially geared to my infant!!! Thank you very much. I will be waiting by my driveway for UPS to deliver it.

Stupid Extreme Couponing

I am not sure whether you know this or not but I am really into couponing. When I say me, I mean our whole family. My children are trained to look for coupons everywhere: in their cereal boxes, on a wrapper, and especially at the store where they will bowl old ladies over to pull the coupons from the Blinkies. And my husband is surpassing me on deal finding and coupon combining. 


A friend and I are even writing a book about couponing secrets. Of course the book is on hold because, like anything else, we got all pumped about it last year and then other things came up like school, munchkins, college classes, a new business venture, a new baby...basically...LIFE. 


Anyway, when I saw the new show on TLC called Extreme Couponing, I was excited. I could not wait to see how other people did it and learn from "the pros" how to capitalize on my savings. However, after watching the first episode where that woman bought 75 mustards I had a strong sense of dark foreboding. Not only was the show letting everyone in on the secrets (a good thing) it was also showing stores how much money they could be potentially losing (not a good thing). I mean that lady had a total of around $675 and after coupons only paid around $6.





What has now resulted is a total "revamp" of most stores coupon policies...BLAST YOU EXTREME COUPONING.


Let me give you an example. At Publix a box of Cheerios is $4.00. If there is a Buy One Get One deal (a.k.a. BOGO) deal, you can get 2 boxes of Cheerios at $2 each. Then lets say you have a coupon for $1 off of 2. That takes the total for each box down to $1.50. Then you have a Target, Harveys, Dollar General, Family Dollar, Walgreens, Food Lion, Rite Aid or CVS (all of these competitors' coupons were accepted at our Publix) coupon for $1 off one box of Cheerios. You can use 2 of those coupons because the BOGO is considered 2 items. So that brings the total down to $.50 a box. Wow!


However, now with this atrocity which is EXTREME COUPONING, our Publix only accepts Harveys coupons. They do not consider any of the other stores competitors even though they sell the same items. Now I know that looks like only a $2 loss, but if you by 18 boxes of cereal, like I did yesterday, the new policy costs you a savings of $36. That is a huge chunk! 


I mean really Publix! You netted 1.3 billion dollars last year (according to Jamie my Publix bag boy yesterday;) and that was my best year couponing. So I really don't think your company is hurting all that much. I mean in the great metropolis of Tallahassee there is a dad gum Publix on every corner. I don't think these uncertain economic times are really affecting you all that much.


Anyway, even with the new coupon policy I didn't do to shabby yesterday on my first Publix trip since giving birth a month a go. That being said I did make some rookie mistakes that cost me some savings: 1. I did not print the circular before going, 2. I did not make my list until I got there, 3. I was unable to look for coupons on the items I was purchasing and print them before I left the house, 4. I did not have my coupons organized before getting to the store. As a result of all of these mistakes, I did not save as much as I could have, it took me forever, and there were different points in the store where I broke into a sweat and almost had an anxiety attack because I was having to force my ADHD self to focus. 


So how did I do? Well with all that I spent $118 and saved $129. It is always good when your savings are higher than what you spent. That is your goal. What did I buy? Well...
18 boxes of assorted varieties of Cheerios and Fruit Loops (I am not wasteful we will eat that before summer is up)
12 boxes of Betty Crocker Fruit Chews
2 Kid Shampoos
2 Body Washes
2 cans of biscuits
2 blocks of Cream Cheese
2 packages of Buitonni Ravioli
3 cans of Chef Boyardee Ravioli
2 Dijorno Pizzas w/cookies
4 cans of Campbells soup
1 Bicardi Mixer
1 Whisk Detergent
6 cans of Hormel Chicken
2 packs of Oscar Meyer Deli Ham
2 bottles of Coffee Mate
4 bags of Doritos
Bananas
Blueberries
Vidalia Onions
Granny Smith Apples
Corn on the Cobb


Not half bad! But it could have been sooooooo muuuuuccccchhhh better if it wasn't for that stupid, spawn of Satan Extreme Couponing show!

Heaven Forbid if There is a Real Emergency

Picture it: Cairo...2011


I have just dropped my oldest off at dance (wow how nice it is when they are old enough to be dropped off!). The middle child and I are leaving and heading to our local dance shop to spend a small fortune to ready ourselves for our upcoming recital. I stop at the red light and wait. 


Finally, it turns green, but as I begin to push the gas pedal I notice a tiny puff of smoke come of the top of the transformer beside the red light. Needless to say, the red light went kaput. I proceeded forward by following the rule of four way stop, which any good driver learns about in driving class...or those of us who are not good drivers learn from almost wrecks or impending tickets!


Any who...I continue over the over pass that goes over the railroad tracks only to be met on the other side by another non working red light, but some of these drivers have obviously never taken driver's ed or gotten a ticket or almost gotten a wreck (although I see that happening in their future), because this red light was almost in pandemonium. By pandemonium, I clearly mean (seeing as we are in Cairo, GA) that there were four cars trying to figure out who should go and when. 


So after finally being getting through the stop light, I did what any good citizen and girl who loves drama would do: I dialed 911 to let them know about the power outage. Here is the conversation that followed:


Operator: Grady County 911
Me: Yes I wanted to report that the red lights on 5th street are not working

Operator: Red lights where?

Me: On fifth street

Operator: Where are you on fifth street

Me: I am at the over pass

Operator: Which over pass?

Me: (here is where I start worrying about our county's emergency system) The over pass on 5th 

****Let me interject at this point that there is only one, let me repeat, one over pass in all of Cairo.

Operator: Well...are you on east or west

Me: um....I don't know....I am on the over pass near the high school.

Operator: Which high school?

Me: (SERIOUSLY) Cairo High School (The only high school in Cairo!!!!!!!!)

Operator: Okay, we will dispatch someone

Me: Thank you

After leaving the store, I head home and come to where 5th street intersects with highway 84 (the major road in this small town), and there is still no one at the red lights! I do not blame the police...they probably couldn't figure out where they were being sent due to the lack of clear directions coming across the radio!

Now I am sorry if you are that 911 operator or if she is your sister or aunt or whoever but COME ON. What if I was injured? Or in a wreck? Or being robbed? Or on fire? Heaven forbid if there is a real emergency, because they will never be able to find me!!!

Breast May Be Best, But Sanity is Better

So I am now in my 4th week of breast feeding, and it is going pretty well. We have had some difficulty. One, she was not gaining weight initially so I had to feed her every 2 hours for a few days. Which in non-mom terms means pretty much around the clock!


How you might ask? Well...let's say you start feeding at 8 a.m. You will feed for at least 45 minutes to an hour. Then an hour later, you start all over again! Which, to help my little one gain weight, was well worth the sacrifice of sleep and any time to myself as well as any feeling in my nipples!!


Second, it appeared I still did not satisfy her. Which is quite odd, because when I pump it results in enough milk to feed a small African nation. But who knows? I mean, I am not a breast milk connoisseur. Perhaps, my variety was not from a good year and is not quite quenching or filling enough. Perhaps it needs to ferment a little more. So we started giving her 2 ounces of formula after every feeding resulting in not only having to heal nipples but also having to put them in the dishwasher.

Third, those explosive breast milk poopies are now hurting my darling's bottom. This happened with my second child. It appears that my milk is somewhat acidic and seeing as breast fed babies have extremely liquid poops the liquid tends to eat at that precious, tender, and soft skinned booty. Seriously, her diaper rash went from nonexistent to bleeding. We have special cream and all (our pharmasist has super powers), but as long as I am breast feeding it is not going to get any better. This is why I stopped breast feeding my second child after a month and within 2 days her bottom was good again.

So I have made the decision to give up breast feeding. Now, I must admit that besides all of the reasons I have stated above the most important (and perhaps selfish) reason is that I just do not enjoy breast feeding. Yes, I know it is the best. It is better for her. And I know it is good for me...best diet ever seeing as I have lost over 25 pounds in 3 weeks. I know it is supposed to be all wonderful and all, but for me it is not.

I don't like being the only one to be able to feed her. I don't do good on little or no sleep (best thing I have done so far is let my husband take over the middle of the night feeding). I don't like the time it takes away from my other munchkins. At least, if I am doing a bottle someone else can do it and I can go read a book with the girls or help them with their homework. I don't like having to hide in a backroom or in the car when we are out while keeping a watch out for perverts in other cars. I  hate that I feel like a cow and that I can't get out of the shower with out getting milk every where. And I honestly don't feel all that comfortable doing it. I despise the let down feeling...it makes me feel....I don't know...weird!

I don't need to be bombarded with comments and e-mails about how wonderful it is and it gets better after the first couple of months! This is my third child, and I know how good breast milk is. I have a freaking education and I read like there is no tomorrow. I am even considered by some to be the utmost authority on all things pregnancy and baby. I have seen similar posts from people declaring that hate breastfeeding only to be harrassed by seemingly helpful mothers who are encouraging them not to give up and that it will get better and to do it for their baby.  One thing I know is that you can't be a good mother if you are losing your mind. So if you are from the La Leche League BACK OFF! There are just many geniuses out there that were formula fed as there are that were breast fed. And my oldest got breast milk longer than any of my kids and was the sickest of all for the first 5 years of her life!

So my conlusion is...where as I know that the breast is best, I also know that my sanity is better. Not just for me, but for my 3 girls and my husband (who had started to look at me with that "Oh My Gosh! When is it coming...When is she going to totally lose it?" look.

There I feel better now!

To Brag or Not to Brag: That is the question!

I was recently conflicted as a parent. What had happened was...


My oldest child got several awards at her end of the year program. She scored perfect on her first grade "End of the Year" math test. She had the highest A.R. points in all of first grade, and she got a trophy for making "All A" Honor Roll for the entire year. She was so excited! She came back to her seat with her smile shining brightly and showing her medals and trophy to her friends. 



Without a doubt I was bursting with pride, yet I found myself holding back. I didn't want anyone to think...I am not really sure what I was afraid of. Was it jealousy? Or people thinking we were bragging? I don't know.


I even caught myself telling her, as she turned to show off her prizes to her friends, not to brag. I mean I, personally, know what it is like not to get something when a friend does and to be upset. But she wasn't showing them her awards to make them feel bad, she was just happy and wanted to share the good news with her friends.


Even as we sat in the auditorium, I watched as parents around me uploaded pictures of their children and their awards to Facebook. When I got home that day and over the next few days, I watched as everyone I knew posted how proud they were of their children and their end or the year accomplishments, yet I held back. 


I wonder if it comes from being so competitive with even my closest friends in high school, or if it is because I have naturally found myself feeling jealous before and didn't want someone else to feel that, or maybe it was because I have, guiltily, felt disappointed when my child didn't get something that I know she really wanted. But most likely it was because I didn't want someone to think that I was bragging or boasting and for them to say something snide. 


Why? I don't know. I mean I do not think bad of anyone for posting great things about their children. In fact, I am happy for them, as friends should be for each other.We should be shouting it to the mountain top when our children do awesome things, and we should be thrilled that our friends' children are accomplishing amazing things. We should be spreading the news like wild fire. 


I mean think about...if the situation was reversed and someone's kid had gotten in a wreck, or arrested, or heaven forbid pregnant, that news would spread like wild fire. So I say it shouldn't be a question of whether  to brag or not to brag about the great things our kids accomplish. We should shout it to the mountain tops. We should celebrate with each other! And yes, we should brag!!

Blissful Forgetfulness

Blissful Forgetfulness


Let me be clear: I love my newborn. She is precious and delicious. I would not trade this experience for the world no matter how hard it is in the beginning. 

That being said there are some important parts of having a newborn that I had blissfully forgotten. I say blissfully because I am pretty sure the first 6-8 weeks of having a newborn is not something that appeals to anyone. There are lots of things that I had forgotten so I thought I would make a list of some for all those who are thinking of becoming parents or are already on their way. 


1. You will never sleep again. I am not joking nor am I exaggerating. You are literally not going to sleep at least until he or she starts sleeping through the night, and who knows when that might be. There are times when my four year old doesn't sleep through the night. Even if he/she starts sleeping for stretches of 4 hours at a time this is really misleading. What it means is that you will feed her for 30-60 minutes of those four hours. Then you will spend 10-20 minutes praying that she will go back to sleep, and then you will spend 30-60 minutes trying to actually get back to sleep. Then you will be jerked awake by every little noise he or she makes afraid that they are waking again. So that 4 hour stretch really is only the equivalent of an hour and a half or so. 


2. You will become obsessed with pee and poop. You will keep track of every wet and messy diaper your child has. It will even become part of your daily conversation! "Bo and Hope might be getting back together on Days of Our Lives. Oh and my kid had 6 poopies today!" Why are we obsessed? It is the only thing that indicates that she is getting enough to eat. It will even become normal to discuss how the poopies look..."black as tar, yellow and seedy, slightly green..." Also, (note to self) beware of explosive poopies, especially when you are changing the diaper. You must move quickly!!


3. You will feel like a worse parent. I am not sure if this happens to everyone or if it is just me, but the first time I had a child I felt like a complete and utter failure. I was unsure about everything I did and did not trust myself or my judgement at all. I felt like I was horrible at this parenting thing. When I had my second child, I felt much more confident about the baby stuff but felt like I was a horrible parent to my other child. I was so tired and all she wanted was my attention and I had none to give her. I spent most of the time feeling guilty. 


4. You will feel like you are going completely insane. First of all you will cry a lot...for no reason at all. The water works could start at any point in time. During a commercial, when someone asks you what you want to eat, when your husband asks you a seemingly innocent question like, "do we have any coffee?" You might even feel insane because as your sweet baby continues to cry inconsolably even after being changed, fed, and rocked you think "what is this creature?!?!? And what does it want?!?!?" Have no fear! The best piece of advice I was ever given was from my husband's aunt when she walked into the room and I was crying uncontrollably along side my newborn . She looked at me sympathetically and made an AWESOME proclamation, "It is perfectly natural to want to punt your newborn out the window, as long as you don't do it!" What she gave to me that day was the permission to feel frustrated with this bundle that I was supposed to be all lovey dovey over without feeling guilty.


5. How unbelievably AMAZING this new creature is! I mean you made her or him. He or she came out of you. Just a few days ago they were kicking you from the inside and now she is in your arms. She knows your voice already and will love to cuddle into your neck, which is the sweetest feeling ever!

So yes you do blissfully forget how hard it is to have a newborn. You forget the first 6-8 weeks can sometimes be described as He#$. What you don't forget is how wonderful this new addition is and how amazing she will make your lives. This is the knowledge that will sustain you on those long nights of no sleep...that and caffine;)

Garden Yumminess...Not So Much

Garden Yumminess...Not So Much

The last time we grew a garden was the summer before my 2nd was born. I was actually pregnant but did not know it at the time. Well of course I didn't, otherwise I would not have enjoyed all of those Margaritas while cultivating the garden;)

We have been wanting to replant for a while but have not done it yet. So when do we decide to take on this huge, and I do mean huge, gardening project? Right now, while I am blooming 8 and half months pregnant!! Now, some of you are thinking, "Sounds like the perfect time to me...I mean now you don't have to help!" And while that is true, you must know me to understand my frustration. 

I am a control freak. I mean I get frustrated with my husband for allowing my children to put their pajamas back in their drawers because the cute little jammies never stay folded and end up wadded up behind the drawer making it impossible to close!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!! (That being said I don't want to get up off this couch and put them away:)

So now here we are planting this garden and I am unable to help do anything. I did help lay it out, kind of. I helped decide on what veggies we would be cultivating. I helped prepare the ground, kind of. That is if you count sitting in a chair, in the shade, sipping a fat cup full of water helping. I did hire out my two munchkins to pick the grass out of the dirt. 

But I feel so useless, sitting here while my poor hubby works his tail off. Now before you start feeling sorry for him, he does like it. But I do think he would like it a lot better if I was there sweating beside him. 

So where are we now? The ground has been tilled, cleaned out, tilled, and cleaned out again. We are preparing for The Planting, which of course I will be of little help for again seeing as it requires one to bend over and dig small holes and cover them up, and I seem to have something very large prohibiting the bending process. So once again I will gather said forces, small munchkin people, and send them out to work in the fields. Much like the days if yore and yesteryear before the child labor laws. 

I am quite certain the garden will yield much yumminess but as for right now....not so much!

Never Leaving

Never Leaving!!

I will admit that I am a lucky person! I have two beautiful daughters, a loving and attentive husband, and another small munchkin arriving soon. Everyday I count my blessings. 


We are also blessed with parents who have acquired a beach house at the most relaxing and beautiful beach that has ever existed, Grayton Beach. It is my favorite place to be, and if you have ever been there I am quite certain you would agree. No hotels. No condos. No spring breakers screaming, wetting their t-shirts, and cruising the strip. 


Now if only I could develop some way to stay here forever. What could I do??? Hmmm..... 


I could be a beach chair putter outer. You know the person who brings the ridiculously priced rental chairs out on the beach in the morning and picks them up in the afternoon. I am quite certain I could find lots of other things to do with my in between time!


I could become a beach photographer and charge yuppy families ridiculous amounts of money. I mean think about it: You only take pictures at sunset. You never have to worry about lighting. You never have to worry about costume changes because they always wear white. Then I could charge lots of money for the sitting fee and the prints. Mawahahaha. 


I could run a beach delivery service. No, I am not talking about delivering babies. I am talking about delivering beach things for the beach for poor yuppy beach families that have to drag their multitudes of beach paraphernalia down the board walk, through the sand, and down to the water. The same yuppy families we point and laugh at as we ride by in our beach truck as a storm is approaching and everyone is running from the beach. No, we are not cruel. We are just tired of them allowing their kids to come steal our kids' toys and then walking away and expecting us to watch their little yuppy spawns. 


Or better yet, I could win the lottery. Winning the lottery is the way to go I think. I mean then I don't have to be a slave to the yuppies, and I can hire a pedicurist to do my toes in new fun colors every day. I could hire a cabana boy to smear on my sunscreen and fan me. Or better yet, he could be the one who has to lather up my munchkins who refuse to sit still while I do it. 


Whatever way it happens, I am never leaving!! Sacrifices must be made. 

The Gnat Ninja

The Gnat Ninja

It all started last week on Wednesday. I was getting ready for school when I notice a small reddish brown fly flying around and lighting on the mirror. I just waved it off literally and metaphorically thinking the whole time, "Shoo fly don't bother me!"


In retrospect, I should have shooed him to his death by using my hand to silence his short life. For the next day where there was once one there were now three. And by the weekend, there were a multitude of these pesky, tiny, six legged demons! Maybe that is why they appear red. See its demon eyes!


By Sunday our kitchen and bathrooms were swarming with them. I just waved them off and the girls ran away. My normally laid back husband, however, took on a new persona. He made every effort to kill them. Now this is not an easy feat. You see they don't land for very long and they are quite small (we are talking millimeters here). So spraying was really not possible unless you want to cover your whole house and everything in it with nasty, smelly, and, I hear, poisonous :) bug spray. 


So my dear, normally sweet, husband took on a new approach. He became...The Gnat Ninja!!!

He might not leap buildings in a single bound (difficult with 2 bum knees). He might not be faster than a speeding bullet (also difficult in old age). He is definitely not stronger than a locomotive (although he can lift his 8 month pregnant wife off the floor). But one thing he can do his trap a fly and bring it to meet its Maker. In this case, I am referring to its Syrupmaker since we are from Cairo, Ga "Home of the Syrupmakers".

Their numbers are beginning to dwindle. I have done some research and am scrubbing everything. We are  pouring bleach down the drains where they appear to lay their larvae. We are also quick to enter and exit in order to try to avoid allowing more of the troops to invade our house. Have no fear our children are fine even after being thrown out the door and down the steps ;) 

However, most of the credit for the elimination of our household's fly/gnat species must be given to my husband-The Gnat Ninja!! Hopefully now, with his help, our household will live long and prosper while these annoying pests rest in peace...or at least some where other than in our kitchen!!

At Our Wits End

There is no doubt that I was spoiled by my first child. Now, the first year was hard. She was never happy. I mean we even had to eat in shifts because she did not like to sit down. However, after that I must admit that she has been an easy going and enjoyable child for 99% of the time. 

My second has been the exact opposite. The first year was great and then she turned one and all hell broke lose. Everything came in extremes. She is extremely hyper or extremely happy or extremely loving or extremely mad. The worst, however, is when she is extremely sad. 


Now let me be clear this sadness is not due to some sort of manic depressive disorder. Nor is it due to some sudden loss of a binkie or beloved toy. There is actually no predicting what will bring on the tears. It could be that she doesn't want to go to bed or doesn't want to brush her teeth or is told no about something or sometimes there is absolutely no reason at all. 


For example, today we got home and I told the girls to go wash their hands while I made them a snack. The next thing I know she has flung herself on the floor of the hallway and the tears have begun to flow. Why you might ask or I might want to scream as I fall to my knees throwing my fists up in surrender? I don't know. Maybe she wasn't hungry. Maybe she liked grimy hands. Maybe she was tired and thought the floor would be a soft place to lie down and found it was not. 



Whatever the reason, the crying continued behind closed door (she chose to seclude herself in her room) until I went in 20 minutes later to offer a snack and for some reason it stopped. This is not always the case. We have tried everything! We have timed out, taken away things, rewarded her for good behavior, praised her, spanked her, tried hard to avoid all triggers like land mines laying in wait of destruction of the peace of our household. NOTHING WORKS! We have had 2 hour long crying fits! 


Today I even created a chart with her help. We chose all the things we wanted her to do without whining and crying. I even searched for over 30 minutes for pictures of the Disney Princesses sleeping, getting dressed, and even brushing their hair. She gets a smiley face every time she does something without whining or crying. However, at bedtime she lied about going to the bathroom and did not get a smiley face. Once again, all hell breaks lose. 


We tried everything to calm her down. We hugged her. We threatened her. We took things away. We pointed out that she could still get another smiley. Alas, nothing worked. Eventually, I lost it and started my hyperventilating hormonal crying, which seriously frightened my husband who is trying very hard to keep me from going into preterm labor. He took her outside to calm her down, which made her even louder, and we are still amazed that DFACS was not called as it sound like she was being seriously hurt even though no one was touching her. 


Now, in the calm after the storm, I have searched many sites about what to do. There are all of these suggestions about what to do to prevent tantrums. None of which are helpful to us seeing as we are already doing them all. There are all kinds of suggestions about what to do during a tantrum. None of which help us because we have tried them all to no avail! 


Now the real problem. Yes, she seems to be at her wits end, but now so are we! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!! This will be a really bad problem to still have in 8 weeks when we have crying baby to add to the mix. 

What's in a Name?

What's in a Name

So I am 32 weeks pregnant!! Which is great, although I feel a little apprehensive because it was at 32 weeks when I went in to preterm labor with my second darling. We have the nursery ready and all of the 0-3 month clothes have been washed. Speaking of that why do you think that you can put clothes into a box completely clean and after a couple of years in the attic they come out stained? Its like there is some little, mischievous leprechaun up there peeing on everything:)We had to throw away so much! 


Anyway, we have the nursery ready. We have the clothes washed and put away. Last weekend, we bought anything we were lacking, like a Pack-n-Play because the last one met an unfortunate end after my 30 birthday party when someone..... tried to take it down quickly and then really "took it down" like a Bambi's mother on doe day! We have diapers and wipes. What we don't have is a name!


Naming is getting quite ridiculous. It becomes a Facebook epidemic every time I post something complete with multitudes of comments and suggestions that even seem to leak onto other people's walls. It was so funny to me how one time I went to comment on one of my dear friend's walls and found a whole discussion about this little girl's name. I am so lucky to have so many people who care:)


However, that does not solve the problem that the only name this kid has is Lady A. Yes, her name must start with an A. We have an Aubrey and an Addison and multitudes upon multitudes of monogrammed clothing. Anyone who knows us realizes that we are way too cheap, I mean thrifty;) to let those clothes go to waste. 


We have tried Adalyn, Abree, Alivia, Aniston, Archer, Ansley, Alli, Alaina, Alana, Amberly, Analeise...and countless others including Axel Rose;) However, we cannot agree on any. Every time we come close one of us, usually me, changes their mind.  


It is no surprise this is happening. It was very difficult to name our first 2. We actually found the name Aubrey in the boy's section of the name book, and it took forever to come up with Addison (and Brian still pouts about her being name for an adulterous ho on Grey's Anatomy;)'. 


I would like to blame it on Brian whose number one response to name suggestions is " H- No!", but I must admit I am just as picky. I mean "What's in a Name"?...EVERYTHING!! Alas, it looks like we might be in the hospital naming this kid unless we just decide to predetermine her future as a pop star or a duchess and leave her name as Lady A!